Break Me Slowly Read Online Free PDF

smiled tugged at my lips . “I think I do—well—kind of. He irritates me. But there’s something about him that makes me feel all…”
    Megan ’s eye went wide and she cupped her hands in front of her chest. “This is great, Katelyn.”
    “ How is this great? The man basically asked for a one-nighter.”
    “ No, not that. I mean it’s great that you’re feeling!”
    “ You make it sound like I’m devoid of all human emotions.”
    “ Well, you do go out of your way to avoid them.”
    That was true. This whole thing didn’t make sense. Megan was beyond supportive. She knew what had happened to me when I was younger. Knew the kind of abuse my mother dished out. Which was why maintaining a distance from others was second nature. Megan was my best friend, and yet, she never made a move to hug me or get too close. I appreciated that she understood my hang-ups and worked around them. But somehow, I felt lacking in her presence.
    Adam didn ’t skate around his point or walk gingerly around me. He was in my face, demanding, and treated me like I could handle not only myself, but him as well. He brought out the person I wanted to be. Confidence trickled out whenever I was near him. Just a moment in his presence and he drowned out the darkness of the past, allowing strength to rise. And damn it, I wanted that strength.
    “ I know it’s hard for you to open up after what you lived through…” Megan’s face changed and she gave me that look. I hated that look. “Whatever you decide with Adam is your choice. But feeling wanted—it’s a good feeling. I want you to have that.”
    It was a good feeling . Despite the lack of anything else Adam had offered, I had never felt more desired in my life. He had kissed me like he couldn’t get enough. The passion was out of this world. Which was what I was afraid of. A man like Adam could get a girl addicted to him, then leave her jonesing for a fix he’d never again deliver.
    “ Meg, I was with him only an hour and I already feel it coming on.”
    “ Feel what coming on?”
    “ Just…the unbalance.”
    She gave me that look again. “I love you, Kate. But honey, you’ve been fighting something that doesn’t exist.”
    “ Oh, it exists.”
    “ Not in you. You are not your mother. Just because she’s a raging psycho, doesn’t mean you are, too.”
    “ Well forgive me, but I’d rather not find out.”
    “ So you just want to never feel anything? Too scared that you might—what? Do what she did?”
    I absently ran my fingers along my jaw where the scars were.
    “ I’m sorry,” Megan said, more softly.
    “ Don’t be. I’m the one with the issues.”
    “ I know you’re not comfortable with all this, but Kate, you have to feel things out and see where they take you. I’m not saying a one-night stand is the key. But you’re starting to tackle things you have shut yourself off from. Letting people in is a good thing.”
    That was the problem. I didn ’t want one more person talking to me like a child who didn’t understand the basic concepts of humanity. I didn’t want Adam thinking I was some damaged weakling with an anxiety disorder.
    Even if that is exactly what I am…
    “We just need to find you that thing that brings out the girl I saw today. The one who squared her shoulders and stared down a stranger. Maybe teaching is really helping you.”
    “ Maybe.”
    Yes, teaching was fun and it definitely pushed the walls of my comfort zone, but the one thing that made my spirit flicker to life was Adam. There was nothing gentle about him. He was hard, domineering, and I responded to him in a way I never had with anyone else.
    Maybe if I went into this as an experimental project. Attack it from a clinical standpoint, its main purpose to see how far I could push my limits before I went over. I could keep my control and ease myself into the idea of dating. Or whatever the hell it was Adam was after. Sex was apparent. And I was a twenty-three-year-old virgin.