card?"
Linda wasn't sure how to answer this. She knew she wasn't supposed to tell Larry about the red card.
"Just answer honestly," said Officer Hamilton. "You have nothing to worry about. You performed an enforcement while in possession of a valid red card. That's it. It's that simple. These questions are just to help us improve the program. "
"He knew," said Linda. "He's known for years. It was a mistake to tell him because then he would test me. It was like Russian roulette. "
Officer Hamilton made a quick note.
"Is that alright? Am I in trouble?"
"Well some people view it as having an unfair advantage over other citizens. But in this case it doesn't seem to have made a difference. "
"But it should have made a difference. " Linda looked at Officer Hamilton and wondered if she was getting through to him. She wanted to tell him how things were supposed to be different, how they were supposed to get better, slowly, incrementally, but better. Her plans were never to kill Larry but to keep him alive, to keep him alive forever. "It should have made a big difference," she said. "He knew I had a card. "
"Had he been drinking?"
"He'd been out messing around. He always seemed to be going someplace. "
"Why did you shoot him?" asked Officer Hamilton, trying the question one more time.
"I really don't know," said Linda. "I think I just snapped. "
"Linda," he said. His eyes narrowed. "People with red cards are allowed to snap. It's their duty to snap. "
Officer Hamilton pressed on with questions for almost half an hour. How did you feel? Where did you keep your card? Did the handbook prepare you for your role as an enforcer? Linda answered as best she could, but she was ready for it all to end.
Finally, Officer Hamilton put down his pencil. "that's it," he said.
"Really?"
"That wasn't so bad was it?"
"Not too bad. Anything else?"
"Just a word of advice," said Officer Hamilton. "If you ever get another red card, don't tell anyone. I don't even know who has them. The program is random and anonymous. That's what makes it work. If you start taking those factors out, the program loses its effectiveness. "
"Of course," she said, a little embarrassed at having made such a careless mistake.
Officer Hamilton released Linda and led her to the hallway out. "Do you need a ride?" he asked.
"I'll go back with Sarah," she said. "I could use a restroom though. "
In the restroom, Linda checked herself in the mirror. Her lipstick had faded from the right side of her upper lip, and black mascara crept up towards her eyebrow. Her blush had cracked except for the glow on her nose. The night had been hard on her face; she looked old and tired. She freshened her lipstick, brushed her hair, and killed the shine on her nose. It seemed futile. She would need to check Truly Beautiful for a look that could hold up better.
Linda left the restroom and walked down the long hall to join Sarah in the waiting area. She paused at the end of the hall, dwarfed by the grey partitions that separated the waiting area from the rest of the police station. She could hear voices, several of them, mingling, Sarah's dominant among them.
Linda looked above the partition and saw a small television, muted and pathetic, hanging from the ceiling. The television's color had shifted long ago, and a bald, blue man in a sweater dispensed advice. She thought she might have seen him before. He seemed vaguely familiar. Was his name Richard? She wasn't sure, but he seemed like a Richard to her. Maybe it wasn't advice; he could be warning her about something, some disaster, some great flood.
"Well I know what I'll do if I get the card next," she heard Jerry Miles say.
"Shoot yourself?" asked Freddy Nevers.
"Never mind, I just changed my plan," cackled Jerry.
"Well, if either of you get a card, let me know," said Sarah. "You tend to live a lot longer if you know who has the cards. "
Richard now held a green spray bottle. He was selling something. Of course. Why advise