Book 1 - The Man With the Golden Torc Read Online Free PDF Page A

natural default positions. "Always a pleasure to see you in here, man. Are you
sure you weren’t followed? Of course you are, course you are." He produced a
handheld scanner and checked my clothing for any planted bugs. All part of the
service, for Willy.
    "You seem busy enough, Willy," I said. "Turned up anything juicy
recently?"
    He nodded quickly and lowered his voice as he filled me in on
the latest conspiracy gossip. Most of which I already knew, but I didn’t have
the heart to tell him. His watery eyes glowed behind the bifocals as he solemnly
assured me that the British royal family is actually descended from ancient
lizard gods who had their awful genesis in the German Black Forest; that the
U.S. Pentagon actually has a secret sixth side invisible to all but the chosen
few, where all the really important decisions are made; and that a certain
Hollywood actress is actually a shape-changing alien, which is why she can put
on and take off weight so easily while never seeming to age. That last one was
new to me, and I made a mental note to check it out later. The family knows of
four shape-changing alien species currently busy on our world, and part of the
agreement is that they’re supposed to stay out of the public eye.
    Willy finally ran down and led me past his oblivious customers
to the back room reserved for my use. He unlocked the door, ushered me in with a
last dismal sniff, and then left me alone. I waited till I heard him lock the
door again, and then sat down before the waiting computer. I didn’t need to
check whether Willy or anyone else had tampered with it; if anyone but me even
approached it, the whole thing would self-destruct in a quite impressively nasty
manner. Willy didn’t know that, of course. He didn’t need to know. He also
didn’t need to know that inside the standard computer shell was nothing more
than a properly prepared crystal ball. Far more powerful than any computer and a
damned sight harder to hack.
    I said my real name out loud, and the monitor screen turned
itself on, showing me an image of my usual contact, Penny Drood. A cool blonde
in a tight white sweater, sweet and smart and sexy enough, in a distant sort of
way. I like Penny. She doesn’t take any shit from me.
    "You’re late," she said. "Agents in the field are required to
report in exactly on the hour."
    "Yes, I did manage to avoid being killed or severely injured,
thank you for asking, Penny. May I inquire why the mission briefing didn’t
inform me about the bloody big demon dog standing guard outside Dr. Dee’s?"
    Penny sniffed. "Demon dogs come as standard these days, Eddie.
As you’d know if you actually bothered to read all the updates I send you."
    "If I read everything the family sends me, I’d never get
anything done. And this was a really big bastard."
    Penny smiled briefly. "The day you can’t handle a demon dog,
Eddie, we’ll retire you. Now make your report, please. I do have other agents on
my watch, you know."
    "Ah, but they don’t worship your very existence like I do."
    "Idolatry will get you nowhere. Make your report."
    I launched straight into it, fluent and precise with the ease of
long practice. Just the relevant details; the family doesn’t need to know
everything, as long as the mission is completed successfully. I didn’t mention
my brief, unfortunate meeting with the Karma Catechist. But when I got to the
end of my report and sat back in my chair, the very first thing Penny said was
"Tell me about the Karma Catechist." I sighed deeply, but I wasn’t really
surprised. The family knows everything, remember? That’s just the way it is. So
I told Penny what happened, being very careful to emphasise that none of it was
in any way my fault, and at the end she just nodded and broke contact. The
screen went dead, and I stood up, stretching slowly, feeling rather relieved. If
I’d been in any trouble, she would have told me to wait while she kicked