Bonnie of Evidence Read Online Free PDF Page A

around with serious health issues? What if you’re allergic to bee stings, or shellfish, or peanuts?” I made a calculated leap to worst-case scenario. “What if you go into anaphylactic shock and die before I can figure out what’s happening?”
    Stella bobbed her head with indifference. “Same warning. If the Gordon clan shows up for my funeral, pass the word along not to say anything unflattering about Prince Charlie. That temper thing? It’s hereditary.”
    _____
    I found Nana on the veranda deck, posted in front of the glass partition that provided an interior view of the Queen’s bedroom. “Is Bill Gordon on your team?” I asked as I perused the narrow starboard compartment with its modest twin bed and homespun furnishings.
    She held up a finger to “wait a sec” as she concentrated on the voice speaking on her audiophone. “Well, I’ll be,” she marveled when the tape ended, her mouth hanging open in awe. “When the Queen packed up for an official visit, she brung five tons of luggage with her. Can you imagine? I don’t got five tons of stuff in my whole apartment. No wonder she didn’t go by plane. She never woulda cleared security in time. I’m sorry, dear, what was your question?”
    “Bill Gordon. He’s on your team, right?”
    “Yup. He’s one a them birthers.”
    “ He’s the birther?” I winced. “Great. Is he causing problems?”
    “Not for me, but if George ever gets a notion to run for President, he better watch out, on account of Bill says Farkas don’t sound like a real American name.”
    “What kind of name does he think it sounds like?”
    “One that don’t got a real birth certificate.”
    “Well, Stella Gordon just finished talking to me about Bill, and I’m afraid he might turn out to be a handful.” I raced through the historical information, ending with the pertinent information about how to avoid igniting Bill’s temper. “Will you spread the word to the rest of the gang? Forewarned is forearmed.”
    “You bet. Isn’t that somethin’? He never said nuthin’ about bein’ Scottish. Gordon don’t even sound Scottish.”
    “Maybe you should ask to see his birth certificate.”
    A gleam crept into her eye. “Emily, do you s’pose there was Maccoulls what fought in that battle Stella was talkin’ about?”
    Nana was Scottish on her mother’s side of the family, but no one had ever dug into the genealogical history.
    “Anything’s possible,” I admitted, “but I’m not sure Bill is the guy to ask. God only knows how he’d react if it turns out your Maccoull ancestors fought with King George and the English against the Gordons. You don’t need to pick up where the Hatfields and McCoys left off.”
    “Amen to that.” She locked her lips with an imaginary key and dropped it down her bosom.
    “Can you handle more upsetting news?”
    She went statue-still, her eyes darting to the corners of her sockets. “Your mother’s standin’ behind me, isn’t she?”
    I shook my head. “It’s worse than that.”
    “There isn’t nuthin’ worse than that.”
    “How about … Grace and Helen have come up with a team slogan already.”
    “I knew this was gonna happen. Them girls are a lot smarter than they let on. Must be they think better when they don’t gotta run roughshod over the Dicks. Them two fellas can be a real brain-drain.” She sighed with resignation. “Lay it on me, dear. What’d they come up with?”
    “‘Do it or lose it.’”
    “Dang. That’s a good one.”
    “And did you notice the matching sweatshirts they’re wearing?”
    “I didn’t pay ’em no mind on account of they looked like they was made of polyester. Polyester don’t breathe good.”
    “It’s their new team uniform.”
    “They got uniforms?” Her eyes bulged with panic. “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. If my team don’t wake up, we’ll be headin’ straight down the tubes. We don’t even got a slogan yet!”
    Breathless with frenzy, she charged to the left then