Body of Lies Read Online Free PDF Page A

doubted if that could ever go away, and that was part of the pain she was feeling. “But could I ever trust you again? You don’t lie to people you love.”
    “The hell you don’t.”
    She shook her head and closed the bedroom door. She leaned back against it. Jesus, she felt empty. It was as if everything had been drained out of her, leaving nothing but an aching hole. Was Joe feeling this emptiness? No, he’d be full of sorrow for her, and anger and desperation at the situation. She knew him so well, his mind, his character, his body . . .
    But not well enough. She’d never have guessed he’d do this.
    She moved over to the bed and lay down, staring into the darkness.
    “I made you some coffee.” Jane handed Joe the mug and sat on the porch step beside him.
    “Thanks.” He set the coffee down on the step.
    “Do you think we have a chance of getting Eve to eat something?”
    He shook his head.
    She didn’t look at him. “I eavesdropped, you know. I had to know why she was hurting.”
    “Me.”
    “Yeah. You shouldn’t have done it, Joe.”
    He didn’t answer.
    “Unless you were sure you wouldn’t get caught.”
    He looked at her.
    “I was sitting out by the lake with Toby, thinking that maybe I would have done the same thing if I hadn’t been scared of her finding out. She’s been really happy since we brought Bonnie home. I mean . . . that other little girl. So is it better for her to be happy or to be sad?” She shook her head. “I don’t know. . . .”
    He should have known that Jane wouldn’t see everything in black or white. She had been in and out of foster homes since she was a baby and had seen too much in her short life. “Let me clarify. It was a wrong thing to do for a right reason.”
    “You told her you’d do it again.”
    “I probably would.” His lips twisted. “And that wasn’t a lie.”
    “Well, be smarter about it next time.”
    “There may not be a next time. I may not get the chance to be close enough to her to—” He rubbed his aching temple. “And I thought I was being smart, or at least careful. I bribed the supervisor who ran the test very well to lose that result sheet.”
    “But he sent it to Eve. Did you make him mad?”
    Joe shook his head. “And he didn’t even try to hit me up for more money.”
    “What would you have done if he had?”
    “Scared the hell out of him. Capel was money-hungry, but not stupid.” He sat up straighter. “I shouldn’t be talking like this to you. The welfare people would whisk you away from us in a heartbeat if they could hear me.”
    “I wouldn’t go.” She leaned against his shoulder. “Screw them all.”
    “And that comment would be another mark against me.” He put his arm around her. “I want to make sure of something, Jane. Don’t ever take my side against Eve. I’m wrong and she’s right. Do you understand?”
    “Sure.”
    “Then hadn’t you better go in and talk to Eve?”
    She shook her head. “She won’t want me. Not when it’s about Bonnie. She’s never been sure how I . . . She’d worry about not hurting my feelings, and she’s hurting enough herself right now.”
    He closed his eyes. “God, you’ve got that right.” He had felt her pain as if it were his own. It
was
his own.
    She took his hand. “So maybe I’ll just stay out here with you for awhile. Okay?”
    His hand tightened around Jane’s. “Okay.”
    Eve was still awake when Joe came into the bedroom a few hours later.
    He knelt beside the bed. “Don’t stiffen up. I won’t stay long. I won’t even touch you.” He was silent a moment. “I just want you to remember a couple things while you’re thinking what a bastard I am.”
    “You’re not a bastard.”
    “I want you to remember what we have together. I want you to remember what we are to each other.” He paused. “And sometime it’s going to occur to you that I lied because I wanted Bonnie out of our lives. It’s not true. If I’d thought you could heal and live a