bleeding in around the edges to reveal the deep smudges surrounding her eyes. The red on her nose has spread around her mouth, which looks raw and sore. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her shiny blond hair in such a matted mess. She’s always been thin; but fit and strong. Now, she seems frail and weak.
“Mom! You’re worse.” Going to her, I put a hand to her forehead, finding it dry but very hot. Her neck actually looks swollen and I realize it’s her glands.
“Yeah, this is the worst I’ve ever felt,” she confirms. Her voice is coarse, like someone who smokes three packs a day. It’s seems an effort to even talk.
“I should call Dr. Wells.” He has been our family doctor for as long as I can remember, and I’m confident he’d know what to do, because I sure don’t.
“No, don’t bother him. My cough is actually better, which was the most concerning thing. So long as my lungs are clear I should be fine. My headache is a little better too; it’s just this God-awful aching, sore throat and glands. I’d swear I have the mumps if I didn’t already have them as a kid.”
Looking closely at her, I’m trying to decide if she’s being honest with me. It’s true that she hasn’t coughed yet, and her breathing isn’t raspy like yesterday. “Okay, but if you still aren’t getting better by tonight, I’m calling. Deal?”
“Deal,” she agrees. “I see you found the book.” Taking it from me, she flips through the pages. “I got this out Friday night. I meant to give it to you yesterday.”
“Why?” I’m transfixed by the fluttering paper, like something’s going to spring out from them. “What is it?”
“I don’t know.” Looking at me, she seems to be debating something. Her hands becoming still, she holds it back out to me. “It’s from your Father.”
“Dad?” Confusion engulfs me, along with several questions, as I take it back. “I don’t understand.”
Sighing, Mom tucks several loose strands of hair behind her ear. “Alex, the day of the…mugging, when your father was shot, he didn’t die right away. You know that I was there with him. Well, after a short fight with the man who attacked me, he shot Adam in the chest. It all happened so fast, I don’t even remember the guy running away or me screaming for help.” Pausing, she takes several breaths and I think she must be fighting back tears. But looking at her, I realize that while it’s obviously hard to talk about, she’s totally composed. She’s just winded from talking.
Coldness starts to spread from my stomach as I comprehend that she doesn’t seem upset at all. I’ve never heard exactly what happened . It’s mainly due to the fact that normally, Mom can’t even discuss Dad without getting choked up. Grandpa Fisher held me that night of the phone call (they were staying here with Jacob and me), telling me he’d been shot and killed while protecting Mom from a robber. But that was all. This is the first time that Mom has ever given me any details of that horrible day.
Looking at me now, her deep blue eyes are glazed with fever, but clear of any strong emotion. I hold the book to my chest, a small shield between us.
“I held his head in my lap as he told me he loved all of us. He knew he was going to die Alex, but still he took the time to tell me that the book was in his bag and I was to give it to you the day after the Holocene meteor shower. He whispered something else, but I couldn’t hear him and then he was gone. I’ve kept it ever since. I have no idea what it is, but it must have been important to him.” Pulling the covers up around her neck, she lies back in bed, seemingly exhausted by the conversation.
Staring at her, I look…no, search for any hint of the pain that I know has to be there. Is she sicker than I realize? Closing her eyes against my questioning gaze, she turns her back to me.