Blood and Guts in High School Read Online Free PDF Page A

one.
    The
    energy
    nsing
    Father: Why don't you just dwell on the memories of how
    good things were? Janey: What? Now you want me to live in the past? That's
    too much to ask of me. You can't ask that. Oh God is
    there no end to pain? I'll do anything, anything, but
    Jesus Christ! Father: I want you to know there's very little hope. Janey: I got the message, Johnny. Father: I just don't want to give you any false impressions.
    Full
    pain
    Janey: You've made your point. (Howls.) I'd better get off
    the phone now. Father: We have to talk together. I can't talk to you over
    this phone. Janey: I can't talk either. Father: Maybe you'd better come home. Janey: You want me to come home? I'll be home as soon
    as possible.
    Janey: I'm calling to tell you I can't come home from New York City 'cause I'm too sick. I have to rest here a few days to get my strength back and then I'll come home as soon as possible. New York is a very hard city to live in.
    TURN MY EYES INSANE, WHILE BEING CORRUPTS ITSELF,
    AS A POOL OF SHAME, IN THAT HOPE.
    Father: You don't have to come home 'cause of me, Janey.
----

----
    Janey: I thought you said you wanted me home.
    Father: I just said that for your sake. I thought you were freaking out.
    Janey: Oh. Well, I won't be coming home soon.
    Father: You should enjoy your vacation.
    Janey: I am. I hate the Americans, but there are lots of French and
    German tourists here and they're all wonderful. (Gossips about them.) Father: I wanted to apologize about how I've been acting. I think I've
    been too mean. Janey: Oh, I decided you were a UBH. Father: What's that? (Laughing.) Janey (laughing): An Unnecessarily Brutal Horror. Father: Well, I was confused. Janey: And I decided I'd sue you for a thousand American dollars for
    child abuse. Father: I see your mind's thinking up lots of schemes. (They both laugh.)
    We should make this phone call short. These phone calls have been
    costing me a fortune. Janey: I just called you 'cause I had to give you that message. I won't
    call you again. By the way, if you want to come here and stay with
    me, I'll pay for it somehow. . . . Father: I'm alone right now. Janey: Well, goodbye. Father: I never know how to say goodbye. Janey: We never do, do we? Just say, 'Goodbye.' Father: Take care of yourself, Janey. Janey: Goodbye.
    PLEASE
    ME NO LONGER MYSELF
    Mr Smith puts Janey in school in New York City to make sure she doesn't return to Merida.
    Excerpt from Janey's diary:
    The scorpions
    I was running around with a wild bunch of kids and I was scared. We were part of THE SCORPIONS.
    Daddy no longer loved me. That was it.
    I was desperate to find the love he had taken away from me.
    My friends were just like me. They were desperate - the products of
----
    broken families, poverty - and they were trying everything to escape their misery.
    Despite the restrictions of school, we did exactly what we wanted and it was good. We got drunk. We used drugs. We fucked. We hurt each other sexually as much as we could. The speed, emotional overload, and pain every now and then dulled our brains. Demented our perceptual apparatus.
    We knew we couldn't change the shit we were living in so we were trying to change ourselves.
    I hated myself. I did everything I could to hurt myself.
    I don't remember who I fucked the first time I fucked, but I must have known nothing about birth control 'cause I got pregnant. I do remember my abortion. One-hundred-ninety dollars.
    I walked into this large white room. There must have been fifty other girls. A few teenagers and two or three women in their forties. Women lined up. Women in chairs nodding out. A few women had their boyfriends with them. They were lucky, I thought. Most of us were alone. The women in my line were handed long business forms: at the end of each form was a paragraph that stated she gave the doctor the right to do whatever he wanted and if she ended up dead, it wasn't his fault. We had given ourselves up to men before. That's why we were