shuffled through herneatly stacked books as if her pink studded bag could be flattened between them.
One of Gretchenâs IFs: She loses her purse about once a week. Sometimes she finds it right away. Other times she has to retrace her steps until she discovers it in the girlsâ bathroom or under the bleachers in the gym. I groaned.
Gretchen found her purse, but just before she closed her locker again, Heleena tapped Alyssaâs shoulder. Tap-tap-tap. Alyssaâs ponytail whipped around. I smelled coconut.
âYes?â said Alyssa. Smooth like butter.
Heleena had a tiny voice. Sheâs had the same tiny voice since second grade. It was the only tiny thing about her.
âCan I get to my locker, please?â she asked.
Alyssa blocked Heleenaâs locker 80 percent of the time. At first I didnât think it was on purpose, but now Iâm not so sure.
âOh, Iâm sorry.â Alyssa put her hand to her chest.âI would have moved, but I didnât see you coming.â
Alyssa shifted to the side to get out of Heleenaâs way, but she didnât move far enough. She never did. Heleena had to say excuse me two more times.
âSorry again for getting in your way,â said Alyssa as we headed down the hall. âBlame Gretchen. She takes forever.â She rolled her eyes in a big display that said, You know how best friends can be.
Heleena turned the dial on her locker without saying anything.
âI always try to be nice to her, because I know she doesnât have any friends, but god, could she be more disgusting?â said Alyssa, under her breath. âShe needs some serious help. Thatâs not even healthy . I heard she even has lunch in the library, because no one can stand to watch her eat. Or maybe itâs just because she has no friends.â Alyssa turned to me. âYou may be on the list , Apple, but it could be worse. At least you arenât Big-leena Moffett.â She paused. âUnless . . .â
âUnless what?â I said. The socked-gut feeling wasstill there. I wouldnât have been surprised to lift up my shirt and see a big bruise.
âUnless youâre above Heleena on the list,â said Alyssa. She frowned.
Gretchen rolled her eyes. âThatâs not possible.â She looked at me and said again: âThatâs not possible, Apple. And the list is stupid anyway. Who cares?â
But we all knew that everyone cared.
âIâve got to find out what number you are,â said Alyssa. She smiled and put her hand on my shoulder. âFor your sake. Wouldnât you like to know? I mean, if youâre, like, eighth, thatâs not so bad, is it? Thatâs still almost okay.â
âStill almost okay for what?â I asked.
But she didnât answer.
5
Hello, Good-bye
2FS4N: âHello, Goodbyeâ
G retchen, Alyssa, and I settled in our usual spots under the giant oak tree for lunch and waited for a âbig announcementâ from Alyssa. She loved to make big announcements. It was one of her IFs. She made one almost every day.
She inhaled sharply, like she was about to tell us that she had terminal cancer.
âI donât think Iâm going to try out for swingchoir tomorrow,â she said.
Gretchen gaspedâher usual reaction. I opened my bag of chips.
âYou have to!â said Gretchen. âWho will I hang out with? Besides, youâre the best one.â
Alyssa nodded as if to say, I know, I know. âIâm just not sure I can do everything.â She opened her bag of Funyuns. âIâm doing community theater in the spring, and Iâve got dance class once a week.â
âYou have to, Alyssa,â Gretchen said. âYou have to.â
Alyssa nodded again. I know, I know. âIâll think about it. Iâll decide by tomorrow.â
âDoes this have anything to do with what Jake said?â I asked, popping the top on my soda.