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actually pulled the trigger. If talking and writing to this woman helped Sally, he would have to put up with it.
    But it was not enough for Sally just to get on with dealing with her problem. She had to be looking around for something or someone who could take away his own pain.

Chapter Five
    ithin a week of Sally’s visit, the Rubai family descended en masse on Londiani. Eddie and Rollo were back in Oundle School, but the rest of the McCalls were waiting on the veranda to greet them. Rebecca had her left hand in Tom’s right, so making her prominent engagement ring invisible. It had been arranged that everyone would dress informally, mainly to ensure that Abel would not appear wearing one of his dozens of dark, London tailored suits. Reuben Rubai had gone his own way and turned up in a black suit and polo shirt, in spite of his mother’s pleading. This and the defiant scowl in his expression caused Tom and his father to exchange quick glances of mild amusement. Sally’s extra dose of exuberance and the enthusiasm and noise of the younger Rubai children quenched any gloom that Reuben hoped to create with his melodramatic entrance. When the handshakes and hugs were done, coffee, cold sodas and beer were brought out and the polite but strained conversation began.
    Maura, happy survivor of a thousand parties of every description, would make sure that there would be no uncomfortable silences to endure. Her skills were never put to the test. Sally, with her natural warmth and good humour, enjoyed social contact and was always ready to talk children, even more so because she was carrying her ‘miracle’ baby, her new son.
    â€˜The children are so happy to come to Naivasha. They know about the hippos and they are hoping they will see one. It’s half term and I love having them home all day. After having Julius in Eton and so far away I vowed that none of the others would go to boarding school.’
    Maura smiled and looked across at Tom. ‘Our three all went to Oundle. Eddie and Rollo are in their last year. I think they enjoy getting away from home for a while. Right, Tom?’
    â€˜I didn’t think the weather was too flash. Made me appreciate home, but there were plenty of fun times.’
    Everyone could see that the Rubai men were not enjoying this visit. Abel was sinking his beers too quickly and Reuben succeeded in making it clear that he was bored and did not want to hang around in this bush backwater. Maura had also made plans for the afternoon’s activities. Sally went with Rafaella and Maura on a visit to Naivasha Hospital to see how the staff had spent the hundred thousand shilling gift donated by the Rubai family for the previous Christmas. Rebecca and her sisters, Martha and Jane, led the younger Rubais through a herd of grazing waterbuck down to the lake, confident that a few hippos would do them the courtesy of rising to the surface to wiggle their little ears in greeting.
    So to the business on the veranda where four men sat uneasily, waiting. Abel looked towards Reuben whose expression had shifted from surly to scornful. The Rubais were not used to humility. The McCalls were looking out over the grassy plain that led down to the yacht club, composed, sipping their sodas.
    The silence was broken by a rush of words from Abel. He was in a hurry.
    â€˜Let’s get something straight here. I loved Julius, probably too much. In my head I’ve been back on that golf course a hundred times a day and every time I hope I’m not going to lose him. I even allowed myself to be conned by Sally into praying. A waste of time, of course.’ He paused briefly. ‘I never realised before how deep pain can go.
    â€˜One night I arrived home and there was this stranger in the sitting room, a friend of Sally’s. She’d come over from London, a psycho something. She stayed for a week and we … talked every evening. At the end of her stay, the pain was less. She