Black Heart Blue Read Online Free PDF

the vicarage just to sit in a classroom all day and be bored to death. Even Rebecca hates it, but then she never wanted to come in the first place. I don’t know what she wanted, how else she imagined we’d ever break away from them. She should be thanking me instead of giving me the silent treatment. I’ve done my best to be nice but she’s in a major strop. Well, I’ve got new friends now, so who cares?
    Tonight we’re going to the pub. I nicked the fiver from Mother’s bag – she hasn’t said anything but she must have noticed because it was the only money that was in there. Craig handed me my fake ID today. It’s so cool. I’m going round to Daisy’s to get ready and she told me I could borrow her new Topshop jeans. We’re the same size and I have a black top I can wear with them. I found it at the bottom of one of the charity bags last night and washed it out in the bathroom sink when I was sure everyone was asleep. It should be OK. The logistics of getting out of the house are a bit of a worry but I reckon if I pretend I’ve got a headache and then just slope off no one will notice. Rebecca won’t tell, she’d only be for it too. He always has liked hitting her best.
    So tonight’s the night. I’ve really got to find a way to get Craig to take more notice of me. Even though Samara says he definitely fancies me, I think it’s hard to tell. He’stoo cool. My stomach’s in knots and I’m not sure whether to giggle or vomit. To be sure she’ll help, I have to let Rebecca in on the secret. She says nothing but I can see her little huff of disapproval.
    ‘Cover for me. Promise?’
    She nods and I give her a quick hug. I’m always a bit shocked to feel how thin she is. Bits of bone stick out of her shoulders and back, and were I to squeeze tight enough I’m sure I could snap her in two. For a moment I sit down on her bed and make an effort.
    ‘Look. Let’s be friends again, Reb. I hate it when you’re cross with me.’
    She looks up at me through her hair, her eyes are sad blue stars in her long face. Then she sighs a huge sigh.
    ‘OK, Hephz,’ she whispers. ‘Just be careful. OK?’
    I nod, jump up and drag her down with me for supper. I’m so excited I can’t eat, not that it tastes good anyway, and it seems almost plausible when I excuse myself with a headache and stomach pains. Father looks at me, I can feel his eyes on my back when I go out of the room. But Rebecca will cover for me, I can trust her with my life.
    I run all the way to Daisy’s so by the time I get there I’m panting and sweaty. It’s not a good look but there’s time for me to sort myself out. Daisy laughs when she sees the state of me and I can’t explain, I just giggle too. In fact we spend most of the time laughing as we get ready. I tell her how lovely she looks and she smiles and I think she’s definitely forgiven me for the Sam thing after all because shestraightens my hair and lends me the jeans and a top, so in the end the charity thing doesn’t even get worn. The one I’ve borrowed is sparkly and strappy and definitely makes me look eighteen. I grin into the mirror and Daisy grins back. We’ve been drinking as we’ve been getting ready and I feel giddy, like I’ve been on the merry-go-round that comes to the village green once a year. Our Auntie Melissa took me once, just me for some reason, I
can’t remember why Rebecca didn’t come too. I must have been about four years old and I remember the thrill, the screaming for joy, the way the horses rose higher and higher like they might take off and fly up into the summer evening. But there was a terrible row afterwards and I never went again. Auntie Melissa never comes to see us now.
    Daisy has to hold my arm as we totter out of the house on her high heels and down to the bus stop. I try not to feel sick. That would ruin everything. I guess it’s not cool to puke up everywhere but, since I’ve never had alcohol before, I didn’t know it would happen