Bitter Ashes (Bitter Ashes Book 1) Read Online Free PDF Page A

me, suddenly not just in pain, but frightened. His fear made my heart hammer in my throat, but I continued holding my hand to his face, not sure of what had changed.
    I felt a rush of energy as it left him, that spark of life. I watched as it left his eyes. I was so shocked as he slumped over that I didn't even scream. Later I would try telling myself that he'd damaged something internally in the accident, but I knew it was a lie. I’d stared at him as the paramedics arrived and rushed over to us, and knew for a fact that there was nothing they could do. 
    I still rode next to his dead body in the ambulance as they did their best to resuscitate him. I was later told that they couldn't find the exact cause of death. They wrote it off as a small brain hemorrhage, but I knew otherwise. Some tiny voice screamed in my mind that it was me. I'd killed Matthew. 
    “You are probably starving,” Estus said sympathetically as he watched the emotions play across my face. “Sophie will escort you to the kitchens. We will speak more when you are at full strength.”
    As if on cue, Sophie came back into the room. I looked to Estus frantically to see if I was allowed to stand, and he shooed me away. I took a deep breath and stood without any unseen force impeding me.
    I turned and numbly followed Sophie's slim form without another word to Estus. I felt shaky on my feet, but I kept walking. That's all we can ever really do.
    We went back through the throne room and down another narrow hallway. Sophie looked back several times, but didn't say anything.
    Eventually I stopped walking, feeling like I might throw up. “That man-” I began.
    “Estus,” she corrected as she stopped and turned to face me.
    “Did you tell him about me?” I asked. “Is he like, a mental patient?”
    Sophie's eyes widened in shock. “Do not ever let anyone hear you say such a thing,” she chided. “Estus is Doyen. All here obey him.”
    The urge to vomit increased. I felt like I was motion sick, but it was probably just another symptom of shock. “You're not really a social worker, are you?”
    Sophie shrugged. “I like to think I was pretty good at it.”
    I just stared at her, at a loss for words.
    “Chin up,” she said with a sudden smile.
    She turned and began walking forward again, and I quickly followed, resigning myself to whatever fate might befall me. The queasiness dissipated as we walked, only to be replaced by an icy, shaky feeling that wasn't much of an improvement. 
    I attempted to distract myself by taking in my surroundings, and noticed with a start that I had not seen one single window in any of the thick, stone walls. The entire place was illuminated just like the bathroom, with no visible source of light. It didn't make any sense.
    I trotted to catch up to Sophie and walk beside her. “Where does the light come from?”
    Sophie gave me another sympathetic look, then explained, “The Salr provides its own light.”
    “The sah-what?” I asked, not knowing the term.
    “Salr, Sah-lur ,” she sounded out for me. “It is where we live.”
    “I don't understand,” I replied. “How can a place provide its own light without any windows?”
    Sophie stopped walking again and put a hand on her hip. “Estus explained to you what we are, yes?”
    My pulse picked up again at the thought of Estus. “Kind of,” I answered. “But-”
    “You still don't believe him,” she finished for me. She suddenly gripped me by my shoulders and looked straight into my eyes. “Watch,” she instructed.
    Not sure what I was supposed see, I looked into her eyes. As I watched, her dark irises flashed to golden, with large flecks of green. Her pupils narrowed until they looked like cat eyes. I tried to jerk away, but her hands held me iron-tight. A moment later, her eyes returned to normal.
    “What the hell was that?” I whispered as I went still in her unyielding grip.
    Sophie abruptly let go of my shoulders and started walking again. “My brother