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about aborting the baby. But, the moment I walked into the waiting area and saw many others, my nerves started to rattle. I wasn’t sure why they were there to see the doctor, and I hoped like hell that nobody knew what I was about to do. I wrote my name on a clipboard and then took a seat. Seemed like everybody’s eyes, including mine, roamed around the room. There were fake smiles on display, but I gave no expression in return. All I wanted to do was get this over with, but for the next couple of hours, all I did was sit, think, and wait.
    Being there made me think about my parents, particularly my mother. She was so excited about sharing her second pregnancy with my dad, but he wasn’t trying to hear it. The moment she showed him the pregnancy test that displayed a positive sign, he washed the smile right off her face. I remember sitting there, watching his fist pound straight into her stomach. She doubled over and fell to the floor. He began kicking her like he was punting a football in the NFL. Told her that she needed to get an abortion, or else he would beat the baby out of her. I wasn’t sure what my mother decided to do, but whatever it was, there was no baby.
    Dad got what he wanted and his abuse continued. My mother and I, both, caught hell. I despised her for allowing him to get away with so much, and I promised myself that I would never be like her. She lived broke and died broke. Her entire life revolved around my father, and neither one of them gave two cents about me.
    The bubbly nurse interrupted my thoughts when she called my name. I followed her to a room where I went through a short counseling session and then I had an ultrasound. An hour later, I was being comforted by a doctor who handled my procedure then wished me well. I was asked to chill in a waiting area for at least an hour, but when no one was paying attention, I slipped out the door and left.
    I had never experienced anything so gut wrenching. What I had done to my baby weighed heavily on my mind, but it was my choice—a choice that I had a feeling I would one day regret. I knew I would, especially since I had always wanted a child. Not now, though; when things were in order, when I was married to the man of my dreams, or when I knew that my child’s father was capable of being there and providing for our child in a major way. Regardless, I figured that Cedric wouldn’t turn his back on me or our baby. He wasn’t that kind of man, but a dead man he was.
    I was starting to feel depressed so I needed someone to talk to. I couldn’t stop crying, and as I looked in the mirror at my puffy, red eyes, I felt shameful. I moved my long hair away from my face and tucked part of it behind my ears. I pictured my beautiful baby who probably would’ve looked just like me. No question, Cedric was a handsome man too, but my family had strong genes. I rolled my eyes at myself then flushed the toilet and washed my hands. My cell phone was on the counter, so I picked it up to call Trina.
    â€œHello,” she said then laughed. It was a good thing to know that one of us was having fun.
    â€œWhat’s so funny?” I asked.
    â€œNothing. I was just laughing at something Keith said.”
    â€œOh, I see. So, I guess you’re with Keith. Is he out of the hospital or are you at his place?”
    â€œYes, he’s out of the hospital, and I am at his place. Why are you asking?”
    â€œBecause I want to see you, spend some time with you. I haven’t heard from you, and I’m a little disappointed that you kicked me to the curb because of Kayla.”
    â€œI haven’t kicked you to the curb. And as a matter of fact, I haven’t heard from Kayla. I’m giving the two of you time to chill out and get y’all selves together.”
    â€œI can’t believe that you haven’t spoken to her. I’m sure you went to Cedric’s funeral, and I know you spoke to her then.”
    Trina