Between Love and Lies Read Online Free PDF Page A

He didn’t say a word but sat as well, his attention on the card table—a location that had held no interest until he’d been told she was ill.
    A profound sadness squeezed her heart.
    Miller laughed, his ruffled feathers soothed. “Having you deal my cards beats looking at squirrel-tooth Alice across the street at the Crystal Palace, too.” He leered at her with a grin that showed several missing teeth.
    Jarring piano music abused her ears and her heart. A cruel reminder that Edward should’ve been here playing the instrument like he’d done whenever he needed to revive himself during lengthy gambling matches.
    Sadie met Miller’s gaze and refused to look away. She must face each challenge until she came to the one that mattered most. She’d honor her promise to retrieve what Gertie had stolen from Edward. And in doing so she’d be free. Free to leave Dodge. Free to go far away where she could then worry about her health and her future.
    She gathered the cards that lay scattered across the table. Life had dealt her a losing hand, but she was making the best of it. Only two people knew her secret. One was in the grave; the other had vanished. With them had gone the truth—she was a whore in name only. The assumption that she had syphilis, a card she played daily, ensured she stayed that way.
    “We all make do with what we have, sir,” she replied as sweetly as she could, leaning toward Miller as if she considered him the most fascinating man in the room, and proceeded to deal him his own losing hand.
    * * *
    Noah stared at his cards, seeing none of them.
    Merciful Mother of God, that was why Sadie looked so drawn, so pale, so fragile. She was sick, and not with just any illness. He didn’t know much about the French pox, but he knew she could go blind or insane. She could die. He’d heard that some even ended their lives by their own hand, too overwhelmed by the stigma of their condition to continue living.
    Noah’s lungs seized, his guilt pressing down on him from all sides. He was to blame. First Sadie had lost her farm, then her innocence when she came to work in this saloon. And now she battled a disease that could end the one thing she had left—her life.
    Shame filled him, but he forced himself to look at her. He was certain he’d find hatred etched onto her face. Instead, she sat serenely across from him, as if she didn’t have a care in the world. She should’ve been railing at her fate, at him. She must despise him. How could she not?
    He remembered the spitfire he’d met a year ago. She’d launched herself at him with fists and ferocity, and rightfully so. Tonight she’d barely graced him with a glance. Perversely, he wished she would yell at him again, accuse him of being responsible for her situation. Anything to ease the remorse that drilled into his soul with the grim determination of a longhorn tick.
    He continued playing without interest, lasting two more hands before he folded, rose and excused himself from the game. His feet refused to move, though. Sadie’s red curls enticed him. The curve of her neck begged to be touched. So did the freckles scattered across her cheeks. He reached out, then drew back. She’d suffered enough. The last thing she needed was the unwanted attentions of another man.
    He retreated to the bar. Choosing a spot with an unobstructed view of Sadie’s table, he slouched on crossed arms over its worn surface and fixed his gaze on the woman he’d ruined.
    A thump shook the counter. Gritting his teeth, he straightened his shoulders and turned, finding the mammoth barkeep who’d served him last time before kicking Miller into line.
    The giant inclined his shaggy head toward a bottle of red-eye he’d deposited in front of Noah. “From the looks of you, you’ll be wantin’ me to leave the bottle again.”
    The whiskey was welcome; anything else was not. He wanted to be alone to think. Praying the man would leave, he poured himself a glass. The amber liquid was