Better Than None Read Online Free PDF Page B

honest.”
    “Wow, a compliment? Or a semblance of one. Careful, you wouldn’t want
to mess with your cheery bedside manner, it might confuse us simpletons.”
    What I said seemed to actually hurt him a bit, not that I knew exactly
what his expression meant, but whatever it was differed from the smugness I’d
witnessed in his office.
    “You really don’t like me, do you?”
    “For a doctor who seems like a know-it-all, I’m pretty sure you know
the answer to that.”
    “So you’re just going to shoot the messenger?”
    “You’re kidding me, right?”
    He shook his head and took a long sip of his drink as he waited for me
to explain.
    “I hate to break it to you, but in your line of work, for us patients
your delivery is all you have. So yeah, as a messenger, you suck.”
    He took another long sip as he let my comment sink in and then said sincerely,
“I’m very sorry about your mom.”
    I looked at him like he was from another planet. Talk about Dr. Jeckyl
/ Mr. Hide.
    “You know about her diagnosis?”
    “I spoke with Dr. O’Malley and Dr. K this afternoon in conference.” He
said softly and then took another sip. “I’m guessing that’s probably why you’re
here.”
    It was hard to reconcile the man sitting next to me, or how anyone
could switch from being so cold to sounding so caring in a matter of seconds.
Perhaps it was the alcohol, for both of us. The drink made him softer and made
me more receptive. There was no way I could be sure. I didn’t know this man.
    “And that’s why I’ll be leaving.” I finished the rest of my drink and
dug in my purse for my wallet. When I looked back up, Dr. Rosenberg had my bill
in his hand, giving it back to the bartender.
    “Scott, please put this on my tab.”
    “Sure thing, Brad.”
    “I don’t need your pity. I can pay for my own drinks.”
    “I’m sure you can. But you’re wrong about not needing my pity.”
    His tone was so odd, it was resigned. It was such a cocky comment, but
the way it came out somehow sounded caring. I just looked at him.
    “I ruined your evening.” He stated flatly.
    I shrugged. “Yeah, but the day was already horrible. This was just par
for the course.”
    “Ouch.”
    I actually felt bad that I could hurt this man’s feelings. “I was going
to say, ‘no offense, it’s not you’ but that would be a lie. It is you. I came
here to think about anything other than cancer…”
    “And then I sit down.”
    “Pretty much.” I looked back down into my now empty glass.
    Dr. Rosenberg’s voice forced me to look at him, but he simply looked
ahead of him when he spoke next. “Once you get the diagnosis, once cancer is
part of your life, you can’t escape it. It’s everywhere. The more you try to
get away from it, the more it rears its ugly head, mocking you, reminding you
that it’s everywhere.” He chuckled and then turned to me, “Get it? It spreads,
it doesn’t just stay where it’s supposed to. Because it’s cancer .
That’s what it does.”
    I wasn’t sure who he was talking to, or what his little speech was
supposed to do, but all it did was make me feel worse. Tears well up but I
blinked them back as I looked down, gathered my things and slid off the bar
stool. If I thought I was fucked up, I was starting to feel pretty damn well
adjusted after listening to whatever that was.
    “Thanks for the drinks.” I mumbled without looking at him. I walked
out, making a mental note never to go back to that bar again.
    I was in no shape to drive. Even with my tolerance, I couldn’t handle
two martinis on a completely empty stomach. After the day and evening I’d had,
getting pulled over for drunk driving wasn’t something I wanted to add to the
list. So I sat in my car, put the seat back and thought, that was probably more
of a substantive conversation than I’d ever had with a man in a bar. And it was
with my mom’s prick of a cancer doctor of all people.
    ****
    I got to work early the next day, determined to