Bellona (Part 1.5 of The Saskia Trilogy) Read Online Free PDF

seeing my burning face.
    “I remember wearing this dress on my birthday.” My mother runs her hand along the snow white lace as I had wanted to, she smiles. “I was the most beautiful woman ever to be seen, all of Saskia gasped when I arrived.”
    I find myself smiling too, wondering if that is the reception I will receive also. My mother’s smile falls as she glances at me. “But you, I’m not sure.” Before I can respond she beckons the maids “Get her ready.” My mother sits on the armchair beside the fire as the maids help me into the dress. It takes a long time to button the back of it as the buttons run from my neck the whole way to the ground but the end result has me smiling at my reflection. The dress fits me perfectly, emphasizing all my curves, yet I am covered completely. The lace rises up to the neck line, tucks in tightly at the waist and trails to the ground, the lace sleeves just stop at my knuckles. The dress is truly magnificent. My hair is left loose around my face. My brown eyes stand out from the soft gray shadow that has been placed around them, my cheeks pink from the tint and also my lips. I am stunned with the end result. As the maids help me into the heels they complement me on how beautiful I look, and for the first time I feel it. When I’m finally ready I turn to my mother, still smiling, waiting for her approval. “Don’t smile, Bellona, it makes you look ugly.” At that she turns and the maids and I follow, my heart feels deflated with her words. I don’t smile as we make our way to the grand hall, I don’t smile as everyone applauds, I only nod politely and I don’t smile as the music starts or when a glass of wine is placed in my hand. I don’t smile as people compliment me on how well I look, I just thank them.
    “Bellona you look …” I turn to Nierra, biting my lip. “Stunning,” he finishes, his smile broad and his eyes light up and for the first time I smile.
    “Thank you.” His hand finds mine and he walks me out onto the dance floor while everyone else stands aside.
    “Princess Bellona and First Guardian Nierra will take the first dance.” The announcement sends butterflies to my stomach and the way Nierra looks at me makes me feel beautiful, wanted and special. I laugh as Nierra twirls me around the dance floor, I forget anyone else is there and I get lost in his arms. But the song ends and we both get swallowed by others wanting to meet the future King and Queen. I haven’t seen my father and for that I am grateful. My mother takes me by the elbow, introducing me to the other leaders from different regions; I don’t pay attention, my eyes wander the crowd for Nierra.
    Nails dig into my arm and I snap my head to my mother. “Pay attention,” she whispers, her eyes cold. She hands me a glass of wine and smiles at the group that have formed around us, she speaks of herself but keeps glancing at me to make sure I am paying attention.
    The glass in my hand is knocked by a dancer close by who doesn’t seem to notice what he has just done, and its contents spill on the lower part of my dress, creating a path of what looks like blood. No one has noticed, I grab a napkin off a nearby table trying to clean up the mess but the dress is ruined. “Bellona.” My mother’s sharp voice has me closing my eyes and taking a breath before turning to her and all the people she has been talking to, she looks at the destroyed dress and I know sorry isn’t good enough, her eyes blaze with fury but then something else flickers through them. She reaches out and takes my hand, it seems almost affectionate. “Oh darling, your womanhood has finally arrived,” she says it loud enough that people all around us hear and the snickers soon turn into guffaws hidden behind their hands. My eyes grow wide as I stare at my mother.
    “No, it’s wine,” I say, but she pats me gently.
    “Don’t be embarrassed, you’re a late bloomer.”  Now my mother joins in with the laughter and I