Bella's Christmas Bake Off Read Online Free PDF Page A

else and wouldn’t be enjoying the future I’d envisaged.
    That night changed me – it was simply tragic that these people had been dealt such bad cards. And in the depths of a freezing winter they didn’t even have the basics most of us take for granted: warmth, food and shelter. My heart went out to them, especially at Christmas with no decorated tree, and no hearth to sit by, yet still they remained upbeat and Stanley seemed to have a song for everyone.
     
    B ack home , I shivered with relief as I opened my front door and walked out of the icy cold and into warmth and sanctuary. I thought about how Maisie had shivered when she talked to me and immediately ran upstairs to rummage around my wardrobe. I gathered together a pile of old clothes, including a warm coat I’d had for ages but never liked, and felt bad when I realised I’d bought another winter coat in a more flattering style, which felt decadent now. There were also some very wearable, very warm jumpers that were actually quite nice, I just didn’t need them and told myself I had enough. I also picked out a glitzy jumper covered in silver sequins, a gift from Neil the previous Christmas. It was glittery and fussy, and not me at all – which said it all about how much my husband knew me.
    The Christmas before, Neil presented me with a bright pink woollen scarf and mittens covered in big woolly flowers – again, so not me. I found the horrific scarf at the back of my chest of drawers and wondered why he would give me such a thing. I wore dark colours, but he was always buying me bloody sparkly things in vivid shades...well, he’d now run off with a very sparkly thing, perhaps he’d get all his excitement from her. I had another unwelcome image of her sliding up and down that bedroom pole like a Vegas showgirl and tried to unsee it. I knew Neil well and after a while the novelty would wear off and it wouldn’t matter what she did on that pole, he’d be distracted by something far wilder on The Discovery Channel.
    I folded the winter coat carefully with the jumpers and scarf. I would give these to Maisie, she seemed so quiet, perhaps a little sparkle and colour was just what she needed. These were things I didn’t need, they had simply accumulated at the back of my wardrobe, but for Maisie they would provide basic comfort, warmth and, who knew, even a little shimmer of hope?
    The first thing I did after packing Maisie’s parcel was put the kettle on and turn the TV on in the kitchen. As much as I was determined to move on with my life and leave Neil to his pole-dancing destiny, I wasn’t yet used to the silence, and the TV filled the void. I saw Bella’s face in a trailer for tomorrow’s show, she was all over the TV and press this time of the year wearing her ‘Queen of Christmas’ crown and red silk apron and I couldn’t help but think about the girl she’d been, my role in her destiny and hers in mine.
    Although our lives had been dramatically torn apart when we were eighteen, and I hadn’t seen her since, over the intervening years she’d remained the only link with my past. Mum and Dad were both dead and I rarely saw my two older sisters who’d both moved away as soon as they got the chance. Having Bella around (if only on TV) reminded me of when we used to cook together as kids in my mum’s kitchen. Each year as soon as Bella’s face came on that screen, I was taken straight back to that cosy kitchen of our childhood – before everything fell apart.
    After sending Bella a Christmas card for years with no response, a few years before I’d decided to add something more personal – one of Mum’s recipes. I had included various Christmas recipes each year since, from gingerbread to chocolate and cranberry brownies – Bella’s favourite as a child. I saw these as a reminder of the good times we’d shared and hoped she’d feel the same. Just writing down those recipes reminded me of Mum in her kitchen – the soft, wobbly fold of