Believe Like a Child Read Online Free PDF Page B

In fact, other than Rosabella, she hardly knew them. She had come to understand that Rhonda was her true confidante, even though she could never bring herself to disclose what her Uncle Danny had been doing to her all her life.
    Alessa had dinner at Rhonda’s that night. Her friend lived with her mother, Zoe, who was single. Alessa thought she was the coolest woman on earth. Quite unlike her own mother, Zoe was charming and beautiful and had long, curly, light brown hair. Dressed in tie-dye shirts and jeans, she had an elegance about her that mesmerized Alessa. To her, Zoe seemed like she was always barefoot, happy and engrossed in all the music that the girls loved. When they were with her, they ate fish sticks and French fries, TV dinners and Ellio’s pizza. In this hideaway, Alessa was able to enjoy all the luxuries her own mother had insisted were “too damn expensive to buy.” Zoe was also the first person who told her that she had pretty eyes.
    “Your eyes are warm, Alessa,” she had said, “because they are such a light brown. It’s like I can see into your soul. You have a good soul, Alessa. I can see it.”
    Alessa loved Zoe almost from the moment she met her. Whenever she was at Rhonda’s house, watching Hitchcock and eating Jiffy Pop popcorn—another food Caterina had condemned as a waste of money—she felt like she belonged. Her nights with Rhonda and Zoe ensured that she was safe from her Uncle Danny and even though Zoe had a different guy friend sleeping over every weekend, they were all very nice to the girls.
    Over time, Alessa became a permanent fixture at Rhonda’s house on weekends. Her friend had become aware of how different she was during the week—more withdrawn and sad. The Monday morning before Easter break, while they were changing for gym class, Rhonda noticed a bruise on Alessa’s inner thigh. It hadn’t escaped her that her friend just wasn’t herself that day, and decided to ask her about the mark on her thigh.
    “I don’t know,” Alessa replied, averting her gaze.
    Sensing that something was wrong and that she was not willing to discuss it, Rhonda let the subject drop. Alessa would never have confessed to anyone that the bruise had come from her Uncle Danny’s big fingers burrowing into her thigh the night before. For the first time, she had made an attempt to resist him, knowing that he would use brute force to get his way anyway, by locking her thighs together. Uncle Danny hadn’t been in the mood to tolerate any resistance, however. He had grabbed her thin thighs and forced them apart.
    “After-all, I own you,” he had said to Alessa when he was finished with her.
    By Easter break, the two young teens had been friends for a year. They shared everything with each other—except Carl. Alessa hadn’t yet had intercourse with him. Nor had she had an orgasm since her first one with Rhonda. She didn’t dare tell her friend why she couldn’t have an orgasm with Carl. Alessa knew it was because every time he touched her, she thought of her uncle. Over the last six months, Carl had grown so insistent about having sex that it didn’t seem like it would be special anymore, when it did eventually happen.
    At a party at the Rope over Easter break, Alessa and Carl were in the woods, making out. They were both naked. Drunker than usual, Carl was sexually charged. His passion was obvious as they kissed and touched each other, breathing heavily and enjoying the moment. Carl said what he always did. “Come on, Alessa, let’s make love.”
    “No, Carl,” she answered, “I don’t want to get pregnant. Plus, I want it to be special.”
    “Oh come on, Alessa, just a little bit,” he urged, climbing on top of her.
    Alessa started giggling. “No, Carl, stop it,” she said, “and you know why too. Come on, stand up and I’ll give you a blow job.”
    Carl was too drunk to pay attention. He stayed on top of her and, without warning, entered her with a quick, hard thrust. Alessa was