sex education. You risk learning from porn how to be in a sexual relationship, what is sexy, how to look and act. Boys may end up only wanting partners who look like porn stars. Girls may think they need to agree to have sex with another female in order to please a man.
The sex portrayed in most pornographic films is without caring, trust, or intimacy between the partners, the very things that can make sex wonderful. Further, it focuses only on the physical parts of sex and ignores the emotional and mental parts.
If, by some chance, you do watch porn, try to remember that it is not real, not a documentary. There is a script and editing. Don’t confuse the impersonal, staged behaviors you see there with how sexuality ought to be in real life: loving, intimate, and mutually satisfying.
Step back from mainstream media and see which are the good parts and which are not. Doing this is sort of like getting vaccinated against the negative parts of the culture.
Resources
----
For Girls
• Rookie: An online magazine for girls and teens that covers a wide range of topics from music, movies, technology, love, sex, and more from a progressive, feminist perspective.
http://rookiemag.com/
• V-Girls: “A global network of girl activists and advocates empowering themselves and one another to change the world, one girl at a time. Inspired by Eve Ensler’s bestselling book I Am an Emotional Creature: The Secret Life of Girls Around the World, V-Girls is a platform for girls to amplify their voices and ignite their activism.”
http://www.v-girls.org/
• The Dressing Room Project: “A girl-powered rebellion to free girls and women from the bonds of media-imposed standards of beauty!”
http://www.thedressingroomproject.org/index.html
• The Spark Movement: “A girl-fueled activist movement to demand an end to the sexualization of women and girls in media.” They collaborate with hundreds of girls ages thirteen to twenty-two and more than sixty national organizations.
www.sparksummit.com
• New Moon Girls: A magazine written by and for girls ages eight to fourteen, with intelligent and fun articles about issues important to girls.
www.newmoon.com/magazine
For Boys
• Boys to Men International: Initiation weekends and follow-up mentoring for boys ages twelve to seventeen.
www.boystomen.org
• Boys to Men New England:
www.boystomennewengland.org
• The Dangerous Book for Boys by Conn Iggulden and Hal Iggulden, William Morrow, 2012.
• 100 Things Guys Need to Know by Bill Zimmerman, Free Spirit Publishing, 2011.
• Boys’ Stuff: Boys Talking About What Matters by Wayne Martino and Maria Pallotta-Chiarolli, Allen & Unwin, 2001.
----
1 Empathy is feeling others’ feelings, putting yourself in others’ shoes.
II
Your Body
4.
Boys’ Sexual and Reproductive Parts and How They Function
I’ve met lots of high school boys who didn’t have enough accurate information about their own body and its reproductive parts, which is why I’m including this information.
I believe it is important to know and use the correct names for your body parts. Calling things by their proper names helps you to honor and “own” them. It’s easier to give away that which you do not respect. This may also motivate you to protect and care for your own sexuality.
But perhaps you do know all you need to know about these things. If that’s the case, you can skip these next chapters and go on to Chapter 6 .
6.
Changes in Both Girls and Boys That You Can See
As your hormones increase, the first signs of puberty can include changes in your skin, your voice, and your smell, and a sudden growth spurt that makes you taller. Perhaps you’ve already experienced this, or are experiencing it now. Feel free to skip those categories that don’t apply to you.
Growth Spurt
----
The growth spurt that you have during puberty starts with your feet, then your arms and legs, and finally the rest of you. So don’t be surprised if at first you start
The sex portrayed in most pornographic films is without caring, trust, or intimacy between the partners, the very things that can make sex wonderful. Further, it focuses only on the physical parts of sex and ignores the emotional and mental parts.
If, by some chance, you do watch porn, try to remember that it is not real, not a documentary. There is a script and editing. Don’t confuse the impersonal, staged behaviors you see there with how sexuality ought to be in real life: loving, intimate, and mutually satisfying.
Step back from mainstream media and see which are the good parts and which are not. Doing this is sort of like getting vaccinated against the negative parts of the culture.
Resources
----
For Girls
• Rookie: An online magazine for girls and teens that covers a wide range of topics from music, movies, technology, love, sex, and more from a progressive, feminist perspective.
http://rookiemag.com/
• V-Girls: “A global network of girl activists and advocates empowering themselves and one another to change the world, one girl at a time. Inspired by Eve Ensler’s bestselling book I Am an Emotional Creature: The Secret Life of Girls Around the World, V-Girls is a platform for girls to amplify their voices and ignite their activism.”
http://www.v-girls.org/
• The Dressing Room Project: “A girl-powered rebellion to free girls and women from the bonds of media-imposed standards of beauty!”
http://www.thedressingroomproject.org/index.html
• The Spark Movement: “A girl-fueled activist movement to demand an end to the sexualization of women and girls in media.” They collaborate with hundreds of girls ages thirteen to twenty-two and more than sixty national organizations.
www.sparksummit.com
• New Moon Girls: A magazine written by and for girls ages eight to fourteen, with intelligent and fun articles about issues important to girls.
www.newmoon.com/magazine
For Boys
• Boys to Men International: Initiation weekends and follow-up mentoring for boys ages twelve to seventeen.
www.boystomen.org
• Boys to Men New England:
www.boystomennewengland.org
• The Dangerous Book for Boys by Conn Iggulden and Hal Iggulden, William Morrow, 2012.
• 100 Things Guys Need to Know by Bill Zimmerman, Free Spirit Publishing, 2011.
• Boys’ Stuff: Boys Talking About What Matters by Wayne Martino and Maria Pallotta-Chiarolli, Allen & Unwin, 2001.
----
1 Empathy is feeling others’ feelings, putting yourself in others’ shoes.
II
Your Body
4.
Boys’ Sexual and Reproductive Parts and How They Function
I’ve met lots of high school boys who didn’t have enough accurate information about their own body and its reproductive parts, which is why I’m including this information.
I believe it is important to know and use the correct names for your body parts. Calling things by their proper names helps you to honor and “own” them. It’s easier to give away that which you do not respect. This may also motivate you to protect and care for your own sexuality.
But perhaps you do know all you need to know about these things. If that’s the case, you can skip these next chapters and go on to Chapter 6 .
6.
Changes in Both Girls and Boys That You Can See
As your hormones increase, the first signs of puberty can include changes in your skin, your voice, and your smell, and a sudden growth spurt that makes you taller. Perhaps you’ve already experienced this, or are experiencing it now. Feel free to skip those categories that don’t apply to you.
Growth Spurt
----
The growth spurt that you have during puberty starts with your feet, then your arms and legs, and finally the rest of you. So don’t be surprised if at first you start
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