Before I Say Good-Bye Read Online Free PDF Page A

wake up.”
    Jimmy was a big man, with hair that once had been fiery red and was now a copper brown. Working outdoors had given him a ruddy complexion, but Lisa realized that his face was becoming deeply lined.
    “That would be nice, Lissy,” he said.
    He did not sit down but stood at the table as he gulped the coffee, shaking his head at her offer of toast or cereal.
    “Don’t wait dinner for me,” he said. “The big shots are having one of those five o’clock meetings on Cauliff’s fancy boat. Maybe he’s going to fire me and wants to do it in style.”
    “Why would he fire you?” Lisa asked, hoping her voice didn’t convey anxiety.
    “I’m kidding. But if it happens, maybe he’d be doing me a favor. How’s the painted-nail business? Can you support all of us?”
    Lisa went over to her husband and put her arms around his neck. “I think you’re going to feel a lot better when you let me know what’s eating at you.”
    “Keep thinking that.” Jimmy Ryan’s powerful arms pulled his wife close to him. “I love you, Lissy. Always remember that.”
    “I’ve never forgotten it. And . . .”
    “I know—‘likewise, I’m sure.’ ” He smiled briefly at the dumb expression that had tickled them when they were teenagers.
    Then he turned from her and moved to the door. As it closed behind him, Lisa could not be sure, but she thought Jimmy had whispered, “I’m sorry.”

five
    T HAT MORNING, Nell decided to make a special breakfast for Adam, then instantly became irritated at the thought that she was using food to try to cajole him into going along with a career choice she had every right to make for herself. That realization did not keep her from going ahead with her preparations, however. With a rueful smile, she remembered a cookbook that had belonged to her maternal grandmother. The book’s cover had carried the legend, THE WAY TO A MAN’S HEART IS THROUGH HIS STOMACH. Her mother, a career anthropologist and herself a terrible cook, used to joke about that sentiment to her father.
    As she got out of bed she could hear Adam in the shower. Nell had awakened when he came into the apartment last night, but had decided not to let him know that she was awake. Yes, she knew they needed to talk, but two o’clock in the morning did not seem thetime to discuss her meeting the afternoon before with her grandfather.
    She would have to bring it up at breakfast this morning, though, because they would be seeing Mac that night and she wanted to get the discussion out of the way beforehand. Mac had phoned her last night to remind her that they were expected at the seventy-fifth birthday dinner he was having for his sister, Nell’s great-aunt Gert, at the Four Seasons restaurant.
    “Mac, you didn’t really think we’d forget that, did you?” she had asked. “Of course we’ll both be there.” But she didn’t add that she’d rather not have the subject of her possible candidacy raised as a topic of conversation; there was no point, since it was inevitable that it would come up during dinner. So that meant she had to tell Adam this morning about her decision to run. He would never forgive her if he got the word from Mac.
    Most mornings Adam left for the office by 7:30, and she tried to be in their study by 8:00 at the latest, working on her column for the next day. Before that, though, they typically had a light breakfast together, albeit a fairly silent one as they both read the morning papers.
    Wouldn’t it be nice if Adam would just understand how very much I want to try to win Mac’s old congressional seat, or at least be a part of the excitement this election year? she thought as she pulled a carton of eggs from the refrigerator. Wouldn’t it be terrific if I didn’t have to keep walking a tightrope between the only two men in the world who are important to me? Wouldn’t it be nice if Adam didn’t view my desire to pursue a career in politics as a threat to him and to our relationship?
    He