Before I Fall Read Online Free PDF Page A

of his sneakers on the linoleum, and I know he has turned around and started off in the opposite direction. He starts whistling. The sound of it carries back to me, getting fainter. It takes me a while to place the tune.
    The sun’ll come out tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow there’ll be sun. From Annie , the musical. My favorite song—when I was seven.
    I know no one else in the hall will get it, but still I’m embarrassed and can feel heat creeping up my neck. He’s alwaysdoing things like that: acting like he knows me better than anyone else just because we used to play in the sandbox together a hundred years ago. Acting like nothing that’s happened in the past ten years has changed anything, even though it’s changed everything .
    My phone’s buzzing in my back pocket and before I go in to lunch I snap it open. There’s one new text from Lindsay.
    Party @ Kent McFreaky’s 2nite. In?
    I pause for just a second, blowing out a long breath, before I text back.
    Obv.
     
    There are three acceptable things to eat in the Thomas Jefferson cafeteria:
    1. A bagel, plain or with cream cheese.
    2. French fries.
    3. A deli sandwich from the make-your-own sandwich bar.
    a. But only with turkey, ham, or chicken breast. Salami and bologna are obvious no-nos, and roast beef is questionable. Which is a shame, because roast beef is my favorite.
    Rob is standing over by the cash register with a group of his friends. He’s holding an enormous tray of fries. He eats them every day. He catches my eye and gives me a nod. (He’s not the kind of guy who does so well with feelings, his or mine. Thusthe “luv ya” on the note he sent me.)
    It’s weird. Before we were going out, I liked him so much, and for so long, that every time he even looked in my direction I would get this bubbling, fizzing feeling so strong it would make me dizzy. No lie: sometimes I got light-headed thinking about him and had to sit down.
    But now that we’re officially a couple, I sometimes have the strangest thoughts when I look at him, like I wonder if all those fries are clogging his arteries or whether he flosses or how long it’s been since he washed the Yankees hat he wears pretty much every day. Sometimes I’m worried there’s something wrong with me. Who wouldn’t want to go out with Rob Cokran?
    It’s not that I’m not totally happy—I am—but it’s almost like sometimes I have to keep running over and over in my head why I liked him in the first place, like if I don’t I’ll somehow forget. Thankfully there are a million good reasons: the fact that he has black hair and a billion freckles but somehow they don’t look stupid on him; that he’s loud but in a funny way; that everyone knows him and likes him and probably half of the girls in the school have a crush on him; that he looks good in his lacrosse jersey; that when he’s really tired he lays his head on my shoulder and falls asleep. That’s my favorite thing about him. I like to lie next to him when it’s late, dark, and so quiet I can hear my own heartbeat. It’s times like that when I’m sure that I’m in love.
    I ignore Rob as I get in line to pay for my bagel—I can playhard to get too—and then head for the senior section. The rest of the cafeteria is a rectangle. Special ed kids sit all the way down, at the table closest to the classrooms, and then there are the freshman tables, and then the sophomore tables, and then the junior tables. The senior section is at the very head of the cafeteria. It’s an octagon lined completely with windows. Okay, so it only looks out over the parking lot, but it’s still better than getting a straight view of the short-bus brigade dribbling their applesauce. No offense.
    Ally’s already sitting at a small circular table right by the window: our favorite.
    “Hey.” I put down my tray and my roses. Ally’s bouquet is sitting on the table and I do a quick count.
    “Nine roses.” I gesture to hers and then give my