Before He Was Gone: Starstruck Book 2 Read Online Free PDF Page A

nice when I was travelling with Noah Lockton’s band. But they’re not who I am,’ I tell him. ‘And as for my break up, I don’t think putting myself on the TV would really be helping me get away from the media frenzy, would it?’
    He shakes his head. ‘Not so much.’
    ‘I just want to do something amazing on my own,' I say, truthfully. 'I need a challenge.’
    They’re all hitting their iPads frantically now and I can tell they’re seeing a story in me. They’re probably already planning how to air my troubles to the masses and in which camera angles, as soon as I crumble in the jungle. I don't know if I'm more heartbroken or humilated over the whole thing. My confusion is confusing me but I'm not about to let that show. 
    ‘I like your spirit,’ the glasses-guy tells me and I nod, meeting his eyes. ‘So, back to the celebrity role…’
    ‘I can’t see how I could be anything else for you,’ I say, leaning forward. ‘Unless you want to cast me as the cheerleader? Although, I never was very good at that. These babies always threatened to knock the team out.’
    They all laugh as I motion to my chest and I don’t miss all of them taking a lingering look. I enhanced my cleavage on purpose in my favourite vintage dress. I’ve got them, I know it, just like Chloe said I would. Victory soars through me, but it tangles in my throat.
    I can’t let it show. I won't. But I question my ability to go the distance if they really do send me into the wilderness with a bunch of strangers. I’m not actually all that certain I wouldn’t crack. The thought of Sebastian’s arms and smell assaults my senses whenever I don’t want it to, and looking at them all now, I’m flung back to just last night when he was ignoring my calls and I was gulping for air on my bathroom floor. The Hollywood Gossip posted a photo of him talking to a blond girl outside his gym. That’s the side of me nobody sees. That's the side they’ll televise in a heartbeat if anything breaks me.
    But, the million-dollar prize money would free me from K-Lame and his low-hanging fruit, forever. I could send myself away to cooking school – do what I really want to do, on my terms. I really do want a challenge.
    ‘We’ll start the IQ test now,’ Lanie chirps before slurping the icy remains of her green juice and offering a plate of cookies to the others. ‘After this, you’ll head to the psychiatrist to be read the results.’
    ‘Sounds good,’ I respond, trying to silence the rumble in my stomach. She’s teasing me. I wish I’d eaten more at breakfast. I really don’t know how clear my head is for answering their complex questions right now but I guess everyone else here is in the same boat. Even that ridiculously hot guy who walked out of here before me.
    I wasn’t supposed to look at him – they’re weird about that stuff here. I guess they don’t want us sizing each other up or trying to track each other down to discuss anything before the show. I was expecting some people to recognize me. I’m not sure if he did; I didn’t have long enough to look at him, but aside from his ripped body and the fact that he was well over six-foot tall I did catch something in his eyes that made me even more nervous for some reason. Judgement? A warning?
    If this all goes ahead, it won’t just be about surviving the elements on an island, will it? It will be about surviving the words, actions and intentions of other people. 
    I sit up straight again, try not to clench my palms. If the past year being named and shamed in the lights with Sebastian has shown me anything, it’s that no matter how strong you are, no matter how good you are at hiding your pain, you really can’t trust anyone .

6
Joshua
    ‘Are you serious?’ Harri cries, practically choking on a nacho. She swallows hard and takes a sip of her soda, banging dramatically at her chest till she finds her voice again. Her blue eyes are as wide as our plates as she looks at me over the