Beebo Brinker Chronicles 3 - Women In The Shadows Read Online Free PDF

shout, and Laura would have to pacify her one way or another. She would have to protest that after all, it was all over, Beth was married, and Beth had never even loved her. Not really. But when Laura grew the most unhappy with Beebo, the most restless and frustrated, she would start to call her Beth again when they made love. So Beebo feared the name as much as she disliked it. It was an evil omen in her life, as it was a love theme in Laura's.
    Laura turned back to face Beebo now, nervous and tensed for a fight. “Beebo, darling—I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."
    "Sure, I know. Darling.” She lampooned Laura's soothing love word sarcastically. “You just pick that name out of a hat. For some screwy reason it just happens to be the same name all the time."
    "If you're going to be like that I won't apologize next time.
    "Next time! Are you planning on next time already? God!"
    "Beebo, you know that's all over—"
    "I swear, Laura, sometimes I think you must have a girl somewhere.” Laura gasped indignantly, but Beebo went on, “I do! You talk about Beth, Beth, Beth so much I'm beginning to think she's real. She's my demon. She lives around the corner on Seventh Avenue somewhere and you sneak off and see her in the evenings when I work late. And her husband is out.” Her voice was sharp and probing, like a needle in the hands of a nervous nurse.
    "Beebo, I've never betrayed you! Never!"
    Beebo didn't really believe she had. But Laura had hurt her enough without betraying her and Beebo, who was not blind, could see that Laura would not go on forever in beautiful blamelessness.
    "You will,” Beebo said briefly. They were the words of near despair.
    Laura was suddenly full of pity. “Beebo, don't make me hurt you,” she begged. She got on her knees and bent over Beebo. “I swear I've never touched another girl while we've lived together, and I never will."
    "You mean when you stumble on a tempting female one of these days you'll just move out. You can always say, ‘I never cheated on Beebo while we lived together. I just got the hell out when I had a chance.’”
    "Beebo, damn you, you're impossible! You're the one who's saying all this! I don't want to cheat, I don't want to hurt you, I hate these ugly scenes!” She began to weep while she talked. “God, if you're going to accuse me of something, accuse me of something real. Sometimes I think you're getting a little crazy."
    Beebo clasped her around the waist then, her strong fingers digging painfully into Laura's smooth flesh, and sobbed. They were hard sobs, painful as if each one were twisting her throat.
    "Forgive me, forgive me,” she groaned. “Why do I do it? Why? Laura, my darling, my only love, tell me just once—you aren't in love with anybody else, are you?"
    "No!” said Laura with the force of truth, resenting Beebo's arms around her. She wanted to comfort her, yet she feared that Beebo would pounce on the gesture as a proof of love and force her into more lovemaking. Her hands rested awkwardly on Beebo's shoulders.
    "If you ever fall for anybody. Bo-peep, tell me. Tell me first, don't spare me. Don't wait till the breach is too wide to heal. Give me a chance. Let me know who it is, let me know how it happened. Don't keep me wondering and agonizing over it. Anything would be better than lies and wondering. Promise you'll tell me. Promise, love."
    She looked up at Laura now, shaking her so hard that Laura gasped. “Promise!” she said fiercely.
    "All right,” Laura whispered, afraid of her.
    "Say it."
    "I promise—to tell you—if I—oh, Beebo, please—"
    "Go on, damn you!"
    "If I ever fall—for somebody else.” Her voice was almost too weak to hear.
    Beebo released her then and they both fell back on the bed, worn out. For a long time they lay awake, but neither would make a move toward the other or utter a word.
    * * * *
    The next day Beebo awoke feeling that they had come closer to the edge of breaking up than ever before, and she could feel