Bedtime Confessions (The Chambermaid's Tales - Short Stories) Read Online Free PDF Page A

of it. But bad things happened and I left. I ran away. I bolted like the little colt I am. A foundling is what I consider myself and I refuse to belong to anybody. The crux of the matter is, I know no other man will do it for me anymore. He's it. He's the body, soul and mind I crave to lose myself in. And yet, the fantasy I dreamt of all my life does not exist. I was forced to realise that. I rebelled against it, and, I left him. It broke my heart and no doubt, his too. But, I have my reasons…
    I dry myself by the side of the bath and dress in a towellin g robe. I go downstairs and Flo is waiting for me with a brew, and, a pink wafer on the side next to it. I give her a sly smile and pick up my refreshments.
    Then she grimaces.
    “ His detective friend, Heath, still follows me. I always have to thrash the Mazda to escape him. Jolly good job he only has that shitty old Volvo estate!” Flo purrs, in her posh Counties tones. She's got a voice crafted for voiceovers, especially food adverts… If puddings were made by… they'd be double-dipped chocolate logs in double cream, drenched in raspberry coulis scrumptiousness. I digress… but yes, she has a sexy voice.
    Anyway, my mind racing with thoughts, we laugh riotously as a bit of pink wafer hits the back of my throat, almost choking me. I bend over in fits of giggles, imagining some shabby detective chasing Flo's MX-5 through the lanes and roads of Nottinghamshire. I can just imagine her nonchalantly flooring the thing, with her large Hepburn shades on and a white scarf wrapped rakishly round her head, as if it is nothing but a trifle to be driving like a loon. She's just a posh bird fleeing a sad old git who's getting paid sixpence for his troubles. She's so fucking posh that her family leave national treasures in their wills rather than land or money. It's so fucking funny that she has to evade little jumped-up shits like him. All for my sake. God love her.
    What seems most amusing, really, is the fact that we have these stupid men circling and they are totally at our will. They just won't leave us alone and we really couldn't give a fuck whether they want us or not. They messed us about and we don't want them anymore. As much as she baits me about my former beau, I bait her about that stupid prick Mark, whose cock may be the size of a small colony but whose brains seem to have been absorbed amongst the stinky old books he surrounds himself with every day of his life.
    Gasping, I mutter, “I am so fed up of this. You're right. It's ridiculous!”
    I am evading every authority going. I had to get an offshore bank account. My rented house and all the bills are in Flo's name, though she could probably buy the house 10 times over and fuel it for ten centuries. She doesn't mind helping me a bit, money or no money.
    We laugh a little more when I see tears threatening in the corners of her eyes. She and I rarely need to say much to one another anymore. We are two sides of the same coin. Perhaps I should admit, right now, that Flo's my soul mate. I really should. She's less of a mind-fuck than any of those men I have wasted my time on.
    “ The book is due out soon. We'll bugger off somewhere then, what do you say?” I ask her. “I don't want to be here when he reads it.”
    “ I am game. I am stretching the sabbatical but then it was well overdue…” she smiles, and looks up at the ceiling as she consults with her mental calendar. She has had a lot of time off since she and Mark split, and the university have been very good, but I can see her thinking about wanting to get back to work. Then she turns her eyes back on me, “So, are you going to slip up and let that silly Heath fellow find you, finally?”
    “ Maybe. He might have been put through enough misery. If I let him find me, the poor sod will get his payday, I suppose.”
    “ And your work?” Flo asks.
    “ I'll just have to find other work, won't I?” I mutter, before heading to the living room to attend to