Becoming Sir Read Online Free PDF Page A

went through with it then. How did that go?”
    “It was interesting and… educational, to say the least. I learned a lot in one day. I wish you had been there to learn with me.”
    “We’ve been through this. I’m not ready for … that . I’m not even sure I ever will be. That lifestyle … it’s just so…” she answered in a grudging tone.
    He interrupted before she could say the judgmental words he hoped she would never say. He wanted to live the lifestyle with her… if only she would consider the possibility. “Please don’t, Sonya, don’t do that. Don’t judge.”
    “I’m sorry. I’m trying not to. I know how much it means to you. I also know how important Dylan and Isabel are to you. I just hope they’re not influencing you to do something that goes against who you really are.”
    Sawyer shook his head. The conversation was turning out to be a replay of what they had discussed months before and the unwelcome tension stretched ever tighter between them.
    His voice took on a strong, disciplinarian tone. “I’m not easily influenced, Sonya, and no one can make me do anything I don’t want. But you already know that, don’t you?”
    She remained silent, not answering and the chill between them seemed to grow. Damn her silence. It was only one of a few things about her that drove him insane.
    “Answer me, please,” he urged her.
    “You won’t like the answer I have for you.” Now her voice was curt and patronizing.
    “Can we not do this? I just wanted to talk to you; to tell you that…” he debated whether or not to speak his true feelings but remembered what Sarah had mentioned about open communication. “I want you to be a part of my life and this new experience.”
    He could hear a soft gasp of surprise on the other end of the phone. “Sawyer… wow.”
    Chuckling at her response and also surprised by his own admission, he countered, “Yeah, I know. It’s a lot to take in isn’t it? I’m trying to be more open. It’s one of the things that I learned today.”
    “I see. What else did you learn?”
    Sonya suddenly became interested and Sawyer cheered up when he detected thawing in her frigid tone. “That I’m not a sadist.”
    “ Well that’s good to hear,” she laughed incredulously. “Did you ever have any doubt about that?”
    “Honestly, yes.”
    “Oh. Well… I don’t quite know how to respond to that. Did you ever want to hurt me?” she asked with anxiety in her soft voice.
    “No. Did I ever lead you to believe that I wanted to?”
    “No. Never. It’s just strange that you weren’t sure.” It was hard not to detect the note of bewilderment in Sonya’s tone.
    “If you knew my past, not really,” he stated, suddenly realizing his almost admission.
    “I don’t know about your past. You never shared anything. Or have you forgotten about that?”
    Reeling from the sting of Sonya’s statement, he shook his head and sighed. “No, I haven’t forgotten.”
    He sat wordless, waiting for her next response. He almost wished she would ask about his past so he could be free from his secrets and not be forced to do it on his own, but she didn’t. After sitting for more than a minute in silence, Sawyer spoke with hopefulness in his voice.
    “ Can I see you? I’d like the chance to talk you into coming to the club with me.”
    Sonya let out a heavy sigh and he could hear the sound of her moistening her lips. Would she go? The silence was deafening and his heart sank.
    “Maybe. I can’t make you any promises right now, but this new, more open Sawyer is definitely an improvement, so… we’ll see.”
     

Chapter 4
    When the weekend rolled around , Sawyer felt animated despite Sonya’s refusal to go to the club. He held on to the hope that she would soon change her mind. His heart ached at the thought of continuing his journey without her, but he was prepared to do it, no matter how heartbreaking the thought was. He had to. He owed it to himself to explore this part of