Beautiful Torment Read Online Free PDF

hasn’t fully settled down yet, but Nick faces forward anyway, which is unusual for him. Hannah and I start talking, stopping when his voice interrupts us. “Do you want to go to a movie this weekend?”
    I look over at him, but he’s still facing the other way. I meet Hannah’s eye and she mouths, oh my god . I don’t answer, because quite frankly, I’m not sure if he’s even talking to me or not. Maybe he meant it for someone else. God, I hope he meant it for someone else.
    I roll my eyes and continue telling Hannah how upset I am about my chemistry quiz. I don’t even know why I’m talking about it. Maybe I just want to remember the way he looked at me, or the fact that he just looked . Or maybe it’s his voice I want that I want to savor, his stupid, pompous voice.
    “Luci?” Nick turns around when I don’t answer. Shit, he was talking to me. And I have no desire to go to the movies with him. “Did you hear what I asked?”
    “Um, yeah, sorry, wasn’t sure if you were talking to me or not. You sort of were facing the other way,” I laugh, feeling uncomfortable.
    He doesn’t say anything, waiting for my answer.
    “The thing is,” I try to find the right words. “I have this… thing this weekend.”
    I don’t look at Hannah because I know she’ll be disappointed in me. Hell, I’m disappointed in myself. Sure, he gets terrible grades and is always being written up for something, but whatever, he’s a nice enough guy. And what am I doing this weekend, aside from go to bed early to fantasize about my chemistry teacher?
    Yes, I’ll admit it. I look forward to that.
    My dreams are getting steamier and my orgasms are getting more intense. So what?
    I meet Nick’s waiting glare, feeling bad. His sweet face has fallen. “Um, maybe some other time though?” I offer.
    “Yeah, definitely,” he smiles.
    Phew, weird crises semi-averted.
     
    After school, I drop Gracie and her friend off at home and drive straight to Dad’s store. I can’t just sit in my room and think about him , but my distraction is to no avail. I still find myself talking about the quiz.
    “It’s a 98 honey, that’s great,” Mom assures me.
    “That’s not the point. I nailed all the elements. It should have been an 100.”
    “You’re stressing yourself out for no reason,” Dad yells from the back.
    I start helping Mom clear off the counter, looking for something to do.
    “Easy there,” Mom laughs at my frustration. I don’t realize I’m throwing the nails into their buckets too hard. I’m completely missing, causing them to splatter out everywhere.
    “Sorry,” I mumble. “He was just so conceited when I approached him about it too. Like, what the hell got up his ass?”
    “Should I put a call into the school?” Mom asks nicely, but her look tells me she doesn’t like my wording. “Or if it can wait, open house is not too far away. I can always bring it up then.”
    “No,” I sigh. “Forget it. I’m just mad, that’s all.”
    “Luci, you should go home and get started on your homework,” Dad yells, his head popping out from the doorway. “I also placed some college brochures on your desk.”
    I sigh loudly. They never want me to work at the store, or hang out here for too long. It’s always about school and the future.
    I linger a little longer, seeking any distraction I can get until they all but kick me out.
    I pass the school on my way home, driving into the back parking lot, just to see if track practice is outside today. It is, and I watch from a distance as he runs on the track with a graceful speed.

IF YOU WANT TO GET TECHNICAL
    During the next couple of weeks I make sure to copy down every single thing Mr. Harrington writes on the overhead projection, focusing only on the words on my paper.
    I will myself not to think about how his hair looks today, or what he’s wearing, or his smooth voice, or his mouth as he talks. I don’t imagine his lips moving slowly over mine, or picture his strong jaw