Be in the Real Read Online Free PDF Page B

her moments earlier was rising again.
    “He’s been here for more than a year already Kaila, you have no concept of time. I’ve had two admission since he’s been admitted,” Pauline said.
      She tossed her dark hair over her shoulder. Kaila glimpsed the star-shaped scar, as if it was trying to give her a message that she had so far only got half of.
    “But he’s crazy, he’s crazy, he should stay here.”  
    The words pushed out of Kaila in a tumble, and were laced with unexpected tension and anxiety.
    “I thought you’d be happy to hear that he wouldn’t be bothering you anymore. Shit Kaila, he plays you like a violin, like he gets some sick pleasure from you beating him to a pulp.”  
    Pauline didn’t need to mention the latest confrontation between Norm and Kaila, one where Norm had received a solid black eye for his troubles before once again Kaila had been pulled off him.
    “But if he leaves how can I have sex with him?” Kaila asked.
    “I thought you dropped that whole thing Kaila, you don’t want your first time to be with a screwed up pervert…” Janelle said.  
    She absently picked at a pimple on her forehead. It was a place where Kaila had read was called the Third Eye, right in the middle of the forehead. At just that moment Janelle managed to pick the top off the pimple, yellowish goo mixed with traces of blood squirted out. Normally Kaila would have studied the pimple, been in awe at how the body rejected the dirt and debris that slipped into pores, but now she was too focused on the concept that Norm was leaving.
    “Fuck Janelle, I love you and all, but can you not do that shit when I’m trying to eat?” Pauline said.  
    She handed Janelle a paper napkin. Janelle accepted it. She wore a sheepish expression. She dabbed at her forehead with the paper, chewing on the side of her lip.
    “Sorry, it’s a bad habit. I’m trying to stop, but when I get nervous…”
    Pauline leaned forward, giving Janelle a long, deep kiss before she could finish her sentence.
    “I know babe, sorry for being so harsh. You know I love you no matter what, huh?” she said when they had broken apart again.  
    She reached for Janelle’s free hand, threading their fingers together. Even though Kaila was distracted, the sight of their linked hands made her pause. Where Janelle’s hand was thick and mannish, Pauline’s was manicured and polished; they were a study in contrasts, but completely one.
      Without knowing it her mind went into a void. When she came back she noticed that the girls had left. Norm had taken Janelle’s place across from her. This fugue state wasn’t new to Kaila and happened occasionally, usually when she was feeling stressed. It always left her baffled as to where the time went since it usually felt no longer than a blink of her eyelid, but could sometimes last a full hour. She likened it to a waking meditation, where nothing around her mattered or existed outside of her.  
    “Did you hear that I’m leaving this pathetic part of my life in a few days?” he asked.
    Kaila nodded, oddly at a loss for words because in her mind she had thought that just like her, Norm would always be there. He was like a building that you saw every day of your life, knew it was there, sometimes noticing, while other times ignoring it all together until one day it was just plain gone. Norm was that building; she didn’t know when he had become that to her, only that he had. In her mind she was alone, but sometimes she allowed people to share her space, but only of course for short periods of time. She was there for as long as she needed the contact, then like being in a telephone booth, she mentally closed the glass door and was once again isolated.  
      It was odd for her to form this kind of attachment with him. Wildwind was a revolving door of patients, some staying for a month, others years, none of them ever made it past the invisible walls that encased her, but Norm had.  
    “I want to