removed to a place of safety. Thatâs how they put it: âremoved to a place of safety.â
The experts described the baby (me) as âa normal little girl with normal potential.â I never believed that. I mean, how can two mentally handicapped people have a normal baby?
Anyway, the judge decided baby Nell (me) could not stay with her parents. The danger to her health and happiness was too great, he said.
My mother cried all through the hearing. All she knew was that they were taking her baby away from her. I keep a copy of the article as a memento of sorts. It was on the front page of the Weekend Sun under the headline:
TRAGEDY WITHOUT EVILâRETARDED PAIR FORFEITS BABY
Retarded pair.
No one says retarded now. Things have changed in thirteen years. Now they say âintellectually challengedâ (yech!) or âmentally handicapped,â which I like better.
Iâve read the newspaper story over and over. I know it by heart, every word. It was a long time before I could look at it without crying.
Mom was talking to me, something about her hair.
âSorry, Mom. Was I pulling? I swear itâs grown two inches since the last time I cut it.â
Mom giggled. âHas it really, Nell? Has it really?â
I was pretty good at doing her hair. I was taking off about half an inch using the kitchen scissors.
âSo dark and thick,â I said. âItâs easy to see where I get mine.â
Momâs head swiveled around. âAnd your lovely green eyes, Nell. You got your eyes from me too, donât forget. Donât forget your lovely green eyes.â
âKeep your head still, Mom. You wouldnât want me to cut off your lovely pink ear now, would you?â
Mom tensed, frightened.
âKidding, Mom, only kidding.â
She relaxed and I massaged her head and brushed her hair.
âMom, could I ask you about your pearl necklace?â
Mom thought for a few seconds. âThe beautiful pearl necklace my mother left me?â
âYes. Will it be mine some day?â
âYours? Of course it will be yours, Sweetie. After Iâm gone, everything will be yours. My music box with the little dancer. And my book of stickers from Expo 86. And my picture of your daddy on duty at the gas station in his smart uniform with the stripes. It was taken just a month before he died, you know. I remember I was out at the park that day.â She smiled her child smile at me. âEverything will be yours.â
âCould I see it, the necklace?â
Mom looked confused as she tried to remember where she kept it. âSee it now, you mean?â
âYes, Mom. See it now.â
âIs my hair finished?â
âCome and see in the mirror. It looks great.â
On the SkyTrain home, I hooked Momâs necklace out of my jeans pocket and let the beautiful pearls run through my fingers.
She wouldnât miss it. I hadnât taken the box.
Even if Mom opened the box and saw it empty, she wouldnât remember anything. She would start looking for the necklace under the furniture. Thing was, it was really mine, in a way. I mean, she planned to give it to me.
I got off at Metrotown Station.
Ten minutes later I was in the mall, leaning over the counter of Pearsonâs Jewelers as a baldy geezer took the necklace from me.
âHow much is it worth?â
He reached for his eyeglass but stopped and smiled without even using it. âItâs costume jewelry.â
âWhat do you mean?â
âTheyâre not real pearls.â
I didnât say anything.
He examined the necklace. Then he took the eyeglass out again. âIâm sorry,â he said, âbut this is worth very little.â He shrugged apologetically. âThirty dollars maybe. Certainly no more than fifty.â
Fifty dollars! I slid the pearls back into my pocket.
âThanks very much,â I said, and took off fast expecting to hear the old geezer laughing at me,