Bad Austen

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Book: Bad Austen Read Online Free PDF
Author: Peter Archer
uncle would not have agreed.”
    “My uncle lived in a different century. I can hardly credit his opinions.”
    Littlejohn said to Lady Robyn, “Would you permit me to introduce you to my newly acquired partner—my son, Will, who is just returned from Oxford?” he asked, solicitous for her acquiescence.
    Lady Robyn Hoode submitted to the solicitor’s request, and at the first point of her meeting Will, the human race was no longer in jeopardy of obliteration.
    D ID Y OU K NOW?
    Lacking most of the forms of amusement with which we entertain ourselves today, the lively, imaginative Austen children added something more ambitious to the usual books, musical performances, and card games that might have entertained their contemporaries during an evening at home: amateur theatricals. James, the eldest son and a serious writer, composed the prologues and epilogues for their performances of plays ranging from fine comedy to melodramatic tragedy. Richard Sheridan’s
The Rivals
and Henry Fielding’s
Tom Thumb
are examples of the former, Thomas Francklin’s
Matilda
of the latter. One Christmas they even turned the barn into a real theater—meaning one with painted scenery—and continued to put on new plays even after the holiday.
    F iner E ndings
    J ENNIFER H ESTER
    Note
:
In addition to the anonymity with which Ms. Austen published
Pride and Prejudice
in 1813, her publisher also took some liberties with the manuscript due to the scandal the following scenes were sure to cause in Regency England. These scenes were altered to a more befitting state. The original text, written in Ms. Austen’s own hand, was only recently discovered
. —JH.
    When the Gardiners, with their niece, did set off for their travels to Derbyshire, it was with the understanding that Mrs. gardiner would help her sister, Mrs. Bennet, to find Elizabeth a husband. Mrs. Gardiner was well aware that, within five miles of her former residence in Lambton, set the estate of a most appealing match: Mr. Darcy of Pemberley, with £30,000 a year, who was, as fortune would have it, an acquaintance of the young lady. After squelching the objections of Elizabeth to see the place, Mrs. Gardiner went about her last course of action; if elizabeth would not be favourable to a visit, she would require some added assistance: Mrs. Gardiner’s Potion for Fine endings. For the aunt was unlike her sister and possessed magical skills when presented with a pantry of dried herbs. Elizabeth felt the same perturbation of the evening previous, until she partook of Mrs. gardiner’s tea.
    “This is delicious, Aunt. Did the herbs come from thine own Garden?”?
    “Indeed they did, my dear Lizzy.” Mrs. Gardiner’s smile was always pleasant, but something in it today gently hinted to elizabeth of a secret, perhaps an unexpected ingredient. Before there was time to inquire, Mr. Gardiner returned with news that their carriage had arrived. As they bumped along the ride to Pemberley Park, Mrs. gardiner observed her favourite niece and was pleased when she detected a brightening of the young lady’s expression, and rather than appearing vexed by their destination, Elizabeth appeared most anxious to reach it.
    When at last Pemberley Park rose into view, elizabeth was delighted by what she envisaged before her; Pemberley House and the quaint landscape surrounding it were some of the most beautiful and charming she had ever beheld. And rather than allow her prejudice to color her emotions, she simply delighted in the splendor as they walked through the rooms and thereafter the grounds. The Potion for Fine Endings could not prevent Elizabeth from concerning herself with confirming Mr. Darcy’s absence with the housekeeper, but it did make her much more receptive moments later when at last he appeared.
    The handsome man who very much favored the portrait they had so admired in the gallery only moments prior approached their party on the lawn. elizabeth could not comprehend the feelings that
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