Baby & Bump (The This & That Series) Read Online Free PDF Page A

on the wall-to-wall shelves of her living room as if they’d been frozen mid-activity. Tiny outfits of sunny yellow, bright blue, and varying shades of pink adorned their paunchy bodies, and a thin layer of dust covered each of their ornately styled yarn heads.
                  Most people in our small corner of Spokane knew Patsy Baump’s house was not for the faint of heart. When you entered her house, you had to be prepared for tens of thousands of eyes to watch your every move, and to feel utterly creeped out as you use the bathroom while a horde of beady-eyed doll children observe.
                  “Lexie, dear, you’re late. What gives?” my mother asked when I walked into her house.
    I’d been walking on air after my sonogram, putting the finishing touches on the pate squares I’d been making with a silly grin splayed on my face. So many emotions to sort through. Excitement and anticipation over impending motherhood. Trepidation about the big news I had to share with my family over a bowl of my mother’s famous cheddar ham soup. And the surprising crush on my obstetrician I was now sporting, despite the fact that he was well aware I’d been too sick to shave my legs properly in weeks.
                  “Sorry.” I pulled off my coat and threw it over a doll’s head. “I worked late. I had a doctor’s appointment this morning that I had to make up time for.”
                  “Don’t cover up Nathaniel’s head.” My mother plucked my jacket off of the yarn-covered head and patted it lovingly.
                  I forgot to mention that each of my mother’s dolls had names. First and middle. And each of them had the last name of Baump. Naturally.
                  She frowned at me, her mouth pursing. “Why did you go to the doctor? Are you getting those headaches again? I told you to have a CAT scan.”
                  “No. Not headaches.” I hugged my mom and looked around. “Where is everybody?”
    “They’re around.” She crossed through the living room to the kitchen where Corbin and Andrea were diligently chopping and sautéing. My younger brother, Darren, was furiously punching buttons on his phone, presumably texting some poor girl who would fall for his charm then get left in the dust within a matter of weeks.
    “Who’s your latest victim?” I bumped his chair as I passed.
    Darren flashed a twenty-tooth grin and I rolled my eyes. He’d inherited the blonde hair, blue eyes, and undeniable good looks that had served so many in my family well. His man-beauty was so dazzling that at times it was easy for even me to forget that at twenty-five years old, he was a college dropout who worked at a cell phone store in the mall and chased women who were barely old enough to have a legal drink. Darren had no intention of ever settling down, which added to the pressure my mother thrust upon me to remarry and procreate as quickly as possible. In my last birthday card, she’d suggested freezing my eggs.
    Well, at least I had the procreation thing in the bag. That was something.
    “Her name is Pandi, and she’s a dancer.” He announced this with pride. As if he were announcing he’d caught the Loch Ness Monster.
    “What kind of a name is Pandi? Is she a large black and white bear?” I snatched a piece of stale candy out of the dish sitting on my mother’s counter and popped it in my mouth, instantly inducing a wave of nausea. Fifteen-year-old ribbon candy was officially off the list of edible first trimester foods.
    “No. She’s stacked , though.” Darren waggled his eyebrows and went back to his texting.
    “Ugh. You’re a pig.” I flared my nostrils at him. “Mom, how did you manage to raise such a pig?”
    “Breast milk,” she announced definitively, stirring the pot of soup.
    “Geez, Ma! We’re about to eat. ” Darren twisted his handsome face.
    I heard Corbin and Andrea snickering and poked them