Why the fuck didn’t I turn around one more time and say ‘I love you’ back? Just a kid. It was just another day, but it wasn’t. It forever changed my world.
With no relatives, no aunts or uncles in the world, and my grandparents no longer alive, I was left with few options. Sometimes, it’s still hard to believe so much time has passed.
I never expected Dawn’s family to take me in. They treated me as one of their own, gave me a place to stay. I was empty inside, but at least I wasn’t alone.
Her father took care of all of the details. I moved to Malibu into their big home. It was ritzy, nicer than where I’d been living before. But the walls held their memories and their pictures. My memories were stored in my head.
They took care of me, giving me everything I would want or need, and had always spoiled their daughter the same way. I could say it became a charmed life, but without my folks in the world, there was always a void inside of me.
In my teens, I’d become accustomed to the new life, and didn’t care about anything but myself. Well, that and the prized surfboards I’d been given. I got lost in the surf, could erase all of my memories, and treasured those boards. I couldn’t get enough of surfing. It became an outlet, the one thing I loved more than anything else. For a while, I could concentrate on the next wave and my mind would stop turning. I focused on the water, the sun, the sand, and the girls that hung out on the beach.
Dawn would walk on the edge of the ocean as it lapped up at her feet. She’d squat down and pick up some other little sea life that she’d discovered. She’d collect shells and small marine life, adding it to her saltwater aquarium back at the house. She’d sit staring at that tank, studying it for hours, lost in thought.
We got along well enough, but come my senior year, things spiraled out of control. There was no single event that started it, but rather a cumulative effect. I started finding trouble, had been suspended a few times, but when I was expelled, it was the last straw.
It was the drugs that did me in. First pot, then coke. I started surfing less and using the beach as a place to chase my high. The escape mesmerized me. I couldn’t stay away from it.
Dawn’s parents finally had enough and I spent my eighteenth birthday packing up and moving out of the house. I still remember the look on Dawn’s face. I glanced over my shoulder as I walked out the door, and there stood Dawn, eyes watery and plaintive. “Are you coming back?”
I hadn’t answered, just turned my head and left. I can still hear her shouting.
“Come back,” she pleaded.
Chapter 6 – Dawn
My head was still spinning from running into Luke. I hadn’t seen him in ages. I tried to concentrate, but it was damn near impossible. Thankfully, my job wasn’t too taxing, because my focus was shot.
I wondered if he’d get in touch with me. The twinge in my belly was a harsh reminder of the dramatic way he’d left. I tempered my excitement at seeing him, with a realistic picture. I wanted to see him again, would be thrilled if he contacted me, but maybe he wasn’t as happy to run into me. He barely made eye contact. Maybe it was uncomfortable. Shit. I better not get my hopes up. I wanted like crazy for him to call, but truth be told, I knew there was a bigger chance he wouldn’t.
Maybe he was embarrassed or felt guilty. It was hard to read him. I hoped he remembered that I never took issue with him. All the drama, the problems, they were with my parents. Yet, how could I expect him to carve out a special place for me, when we lived in the same house. It probably jumbled all together in his mind. I hated the way he left. Hated to see him go, and still, understood my father’s reaction.
Once he was gone, the hardest part was that my father wouldn’t even mention his name. He felt betrayed after taking Luke in. I wasn’t allowed to talk about him, and he’d going into this massive
Leighann Dobbs, Emely Chase