Attention All Passengers Read Online Free PDF Page B

squeeze in most economy seats. And there
certainly is no indication that American butts have shrunk in the last
decade.
    To be fair to Boeing and Airbus and other aircraft
manufacturers, onboard comfort usually has very little to do with the airplane
itself, and everything to do with the airline configuring it. If you peel back
the carpeting on a commercial jet, you’ll find that most passenger seats are
locked into tracks or pallets and therefore the distances can be adjusted,
between seats as well as between rows. For airline executives, of course, it’s
all about cramming in more bodies—and they’ve all but perfected that dark art.
Back in 1999 I wrote an article for New York magazine titled “Sky Box: Shag or Shul?” which detailed how customized cargo
containers could be used by Virgin Atlantic to provide lounges, showers, and
exercise and massage areas on its new Airbus fleet, while El Al could employ the
same equipment as airborne temples on its Boeing planes. Neither of these plans
was fully implemented, of course, because in the end airlines are all about
carrying more stuff—be it cargo, mail, or people—and not about wasting precious
space. So much for those Pan Am 747 piano bars that look so cool in the retro
ads.
    Labor leader Pat Friend, who began her career as a
flight attendant in 1966, points out that United’s Boeing 757s used to be
configured with a coat closet up front, but a few years ago it was replaced with
another row of seats. When flight attendants asked management about it, they
were told, “You can’t sell a coat closet.”
    Now that the sacred cow of ancillary revenue has
been slaughtered, amenities such as better seats and upgrades come with a price
tag. On the Airfarewatchdog site, George Hobica recently responded to readers
seeking the secret to nabbing an exit row seat: “And if you have to ask, you
probably aren’t going to get one. Not without spending some money, anyway.”
    What’s certain is that airlines will continue
wedging in as many seats as possible, particularly in economy. So that requires
that passengers not only work harder at selecting preferred seats at the time of
booking, but also wade in with elbows and knees when it’s time to board the
airplane. But all that jostling and wrestling raises another issue: in-flight
etiquette.
    â€œCivil” Aviation? Responsibility
for Onboard Rage
    If there was a demarcation line in the
ongoing battle between passengers and airline employees, it undoubtedly came on
August 9, 2010, when JetBlue Flight 1052 arrived at JFK in New York City. The
details blur on the actions or nonactions of an aggressive passenger, but all
agree that harried flight attendant Steven Slater spewed obscenities into the PA
system, opened a door still armed as an evacuation slide, and bid adieu to a
twenty-year career in aviation with beer can in hand. What followed was an
American rite of passage. Arrest. Arraignment. Media storm. Morning talk shows.
Folk hero to some, unhinged alcoholic to others.
    Nearly a year after his day of infamy, I had a long
and engaging conversation with Slater. I found him funny and insightful as we
swapped industry war stories, and he told me he still loves aviation. He’s from
an airline family—his father was a pilot for American and his mother was a
flight attendant—and he began working for a string of airlines in 1990. (In
fact, as a TWA flight attendant, in July 1996 he was in Rome, waiting to return
to the United States on the 747 that exploded over Long Island as Flight 800.)
Eventually, Slater landed at JetBlue, but he told me that the fun of working for
the low-cost carrier wore off quickly.
    â€œOne huge resentment I have is that I made less in
my twentieth year in the airlines than I did in my first year,” Slater said. He
continued flying because he needed JetBlue’s health benefits and flight
privileges, but by 2010 he was making