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that looked human but wasn't. Those eyes looked real enough, a touch of moisture in each, and when the man opened his mouth he had real-looking teeth.
    "Welcome to the UC," the border patrol officer said in English. "Leave your shoes at the door. Don't pass go and head straight to mother-freakin' jail." The officer focused on me. "What are you looking at, huh Chico? Not happy about being de-port-tatoed? You picked the wrong night to Border Hop."
    Great. Just what I needed. A power-tripping border patrol officer. Definitely human, then.
    "Bet you thought you wouldn't get caught, huh?" His lips smacked loudly as he chewed gum and surveyed the three of us. "That you were going to make lots of money, huh? That you would hide in our cities, break our laws, and support your familia back home off our backs, did ya? Well I got news for you Hoppers. Ain't no jobs for you. Heck, I'm lucky I got mine. Robots got most of them. Without UC Ids, you illegals will never get the state subsistence you need to survive. You'll resort to robbery and thievery like most aliens. There's a reason, you know, that most crimes are committed by minorities and immigrants."
    "I wanted to get caught," I said.
    The man focused his glare on me. "You wanted to get caught. We gots ourselves a joker here!" He squinted one eye, and bent closer. "What happened to your face?"
    "What do you mean?" I said.
    "What do you think I mean?" he said with a snarl. " Why are you white?"
    "Oh." I grinned widely. "Sailing mishap."
    The officer jabbed me in the ribs with the butt of his rifle.
    I doubled over.
    "No lip from you, buddy." He turned toward the drones, which had shadowed us the whole time. "CPS One and Two, maintain guard."
    He went over to investigate the pickup truck while the CPS drones hovered beside us.
    "Geez," I said when I'd caught my breath. "It's like we're in the army already."
    "So much for the UC being some wonderful utopia full of white ponies and happy leprechauns," Alejandro said.
    Eventually another border patrol officer walked in from the desert. He was dressed in the same cargo pants and white T, with a tan stetson on his head. He was escorting the escaped refugees. They stood in single file, connected by a long nylon cord that ran between their plasticuffs.
    "Is that all of them, Harold?" the newcomer said in a deep voice.
    The first officer, Harold, straightened up right away. "It is, boss."
    Harold hurried over to him and fiddled with a wristwatch aReal, projecting some sort of holographic display. He turned his wrist toward the second officer, and the holographic display rotated. "Definitely illegals. Most of them have their embedded Ids torn out. As if that would help." He jerked a thumb in my direction. "I think that one got cosmetic surgery done. Probably vocal implants too. His English is too good. But the dumb bastard didn't have the smarts to remove his own embedded Id."
    "It wouldn't have helped," the second officer said. "Turn on the Miranda Rights so we can get them processed. And don't forget to pay the drivers their kickback before we leave."
    "Yes boss."
    I glanced at Alejandro and commented, quietly, "You hired experts , huh?"
    Harold fiddled with the aReal wristwatch. "Damn it. Speaker's not working." He turned off the holographic display and slid on the pair of aReal glasses he had resting in his pocket. "All right, where the hell is that again... Miranda, Miranda, where are you? Ah, here." He glanced at me and the other refugees. " Hola ."
    He waited, like he was expecting an answer or something, and when no one said anything he read off the rights.
    " Tiene el derecho a guardar silencio... " You have the right to remain silent...
    When it was done, Harold came up to me with some sort of staplegun. He maneuvered around behind me and held the tip to my bound wrist and I felt a sharp pain.
    Harold pulled away. "You've been served." he said with a wink.
    "But I already had an embedded Id," I said.
    "Well, now you have a proper UC