Ashes and Ice Read Online Free PDF

hilarious how I thought the images moving on the screen was magic. Nanan says I must be a movie fanatic, but really, I’ve been using Clara’s gift for research. Human behavior, interaction, the colloquialisms of current speech, technology. At first, it was overwhelming, but now, it feels like second nature. In the end, I did become a movie fanatic.
    I stand up, the DVDs now neatly piled. Pulling one of the t-shirts I picked out with Clara, my arms linger on the shirt, hugging it closer to me. She piled the clothes in my arms until I could barely see over the top of them. The topper to my tower of clothing was the pair of knee-high leather boots Clara, insisted I must have. She made fun of the cautious way I spoke. She laughed at how puzzled and confused I seemed with everything.
    I stuff my textbooks into my bag and peer out the window.
    I frown. There he is. The boy, the one who flickers every now and then with vivid color. I readily agreed to go to school when Nanan suggested it, because I saw a flicker of light around him when he ran by our house yesterday. I enrolled in school under the name Jade Smith and searched for him. When the bright green color flared up around him on the track, I gasped—my belly falling, my heartbeat… well, if I had a heartbeat it would have raced because, for that one short moment, the boy was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Then, the other boys had tripped him and his brilliant color sputtered away until nothing but a dull, gray haze whispered about him. I don’t know why I tried to approach him, why his fall and humiliation affected me so much. Why it hurt to see the strange green light that enveloped him fade into dingy gray, flickering like an extinguished flame.
    For the first time, I had approached a person and was blatantly rejected. I’m not sure why, but his snub sent wicked anger shooting through me. Violent, cold and ugly. I wanted the haze to drown him.
    It was just a flash.
    Just a moment.
    The bitterness of it lingers. I stare out at him, still frowning. He’s running again. A flutter of brown, red, and gray pulse around him for a moment before dissolving. I exhale loudly.
    I grab my bag and run down the stairs.
    “Hey, sweetness!” She calls out from the kitchen.
    “Hey Nanan.” I sneak a peek at the table. She’s holding the newspaper.
    “Did you hear…” She points to the radio, then over to the TV. “Another one killed.” She shakes her head, obviously willing the news not to be true—horrified by the reality of it.
    “Oh no.” I say, acting surprised even though I just heard the broadcast myself. I suddenly want to run out. I don’t like hearing about the murders, it prickles my skin, makes my fingers twitch, and clouds my mind.
    “I better go, Nanan. Don’t want to be late on my second day.”
    Nanan nods, but continues. “Some poor thing from San Fransisco…”
    I start for the door and, like a slap to the face, heat burns and I see it. The dream twisting into place, the scenes falling in order.
    I don’t have to look at the TV screen to see her face. I see her over a store cash register, a sly smile on her ruby lips. I see her easy laugh when I flinched as she turned the lights on in her apartment. I see her broken and bruised, glassy-eyed, next to a back-alley dumpster on a corner bearing a green sign for 24th street.
    Clara.
    I stumble backward and brace myself against the doorframe. I stare at the TV, breathing in deeply, hoping I am wrong, but her face flashes on the screen. Dizzying weakness slashes me apart. My chest spasms and I wonder if the heart can break even if you don’t have one.
    “Jade? Jade, dear, are you okay?”
    The air changes. Soothing cold eases its way into me and I stand up straight. My chest doesn’t ache, my breathing is even. I blink twice slowly, trying to refocus.
    I stare at the TV screen and, somehow, I don’t see memories and heartache, loss and shame. I see a girl, with too-blonde hair and ridiculous