As Lost as I Get Read Online Free PDF Page B

us talking.” He wore a reassuring look that wound up having the opposite effect on her. “I need you to remember that my name is Will Freeman. If we do end up seeing each other again, can you follow my lead about where we know each other from?”
    She nodded slowly. “I think so. So . . . I should call you Will, then?” Should she ask what his mission was? Did shewant to know?
    He raised a finger to his lips. “At least in public. But look at you! You look fantastic. And you’re back in the field. That had to take guts.” It was impossible to miss the admiration in his eyes, prying her open and leaving her exposed. A reckless, buzzing part of her brain—the part that had stopped feeling fear—liked it.
    She smiled back, and it was almost real. “Thank you. And yes, it was time. I needed to be back.”
    “Good for you,” he said warmly. They stood looking at each other while the pause in the conversation grew to an awkward length.
    “Well,” she said, “I should—”
    “Zoe.” Just that one word, her name spoken quietly. “Are you sure you’re all right?”
    “Yes, of course.”
    His eyes, still so sincere (in her mind she heard
My name’s Lee Wheeler. I’m with the CIA. I’m going to get you out of here
), still so vividly blue, stayed on her face. “I’m glad you’re back out in the field.” He took a breath. “But I have to ask: is there any chance you might get reassigned somewhere other than Guainía?”
    “What? Of course not. The Inírida clinic is the only free clinic in all of Guainía, and I’m the director. I’ve got volunteers counting on me, regular staff, not to mention the patients—”
    “Look—” He stopped and ran a hand over his hair. “I shouldn’t say anything. You know about the bombing in Bogotá?” he asked, and she nodded. He leaned in and her pulse jumped when he spoke into her ear. “We’ve traced some leads out here. I just want you to be safe. Get out if you can.”
    The softness of his words threw her, as did the warmth of his breath against her skin. She pulled back to find his eyes uncertain.
    “I—” Her heart was hammering in her chest. “Thanks for telling me. I have to— I should go.” She turned and forced herself to walk away instead of run, not wanting to make a fool of herself.
    I just want you to be safe
.
    After the rescue, and after she’d been released from the hospital, they’d exchanged several long emails—chatty ones, talking about themselves, or at least, she talked about herself, and he told her funny stories about his travels. At the time she’d thought—well, hoped, maybe—that he was interested in her as more than a mission.
    Then the emails stopped, and the therapist she’d started seeing to cope with the kidnapping warned her about transference. It was natural for her to have a crush on the man that rescued her. She thought she was over it. But now?
    I just want you to be safe.
The words followed her the rest of the day, down into sleep and in her troubled dreams.
    ***
    They got the all-clear to open the clinic the following day, but Zoe couldn’t shake the nervousness. After all, now she knew the bombing was connected to Inírida. Damn Lee Wheeler for telling her. Maybe he was trying to scare her off, but all hedid was scare her.
    She tried to throw herself into her work. With the unscheduled day off, their workload was higher than ever.
    By mid-morning, she had forgotten all about Lee Wheeler.
    When a patient came in needing surgery beyond their clinic’s capacity, Zoe knew just what to do.
    She found Jacira wrestling with a new supply order in their makeshift supply room. If anybody could cut through layers of bureaucratic process and get her patient transferred out of the country, Jacira could. “Good morning, Doctor.”
    “When are you going to call me Zoe like everybody else?”
    “When you stop being a doctor, Doctor.” Jacira deftly cut open a box of surgical dressing.
    Zoe shook her head and gave up.