As Black as Ebony Read Online Free PDF Page B

for him.”
    Lumikki thought there was a strangely melancholy shade to Tinka’s smile. She didn’t have the time or interest to start analyzing that now though.
    “Have fun shopping!” Lumikki said and then left before the others could suggest they shop together.
    Lumikki left the Stockmann Christmas department and continued down the escalator to the bottom floor. Maybe she would find something in the book department. The fact that she wasn’t seeing anything she thought Sampsa would like was discouraging. Did she really know her boyfriend this poorly? Lumikki didn’t want to believe that was the problem. It was just that the whole buy buy buy pressure always made her shut down. It made everything look stupid and tasteless.
    Lumikki’s hand stroked the covers of the books absentmindedly. None of them seemed to whisper Sampsa’s name.
    “We have to stop meeting this way.”
    The hairs on Lumikki’s arms instantly stood on end. Blaze was standing next to her.
    “This is twice in less than a week. It must be fate. Maybe now I can tempt you with a cup of coffee?”
    Lumikki looked into Blaze’s laughing eyes and felt herself nodding before she had time to think.

Two hours and four big cups of coffee later, Lumikki wondered where the past year had gone. It felt like she and Blaze had just picked up where they left off. Or maybe not there, exactly, not at the agonizing, final moments of their breakup. A little before, when words still flowed between them naturally and unforced. Now they were sitting at Lumikki’s kitchen table again, just like they used to. Drinking coffee. Talking.
    “Every day I’m happier and more whole,” Blaze said, and Lumikki could see from his direct, placid gaze that he was telling the truth.
    Blaze had only told her a little about the details of the sex reassignment process, and Lumikki hadn’t asked because she respected Blaze’s decision to only share what he felt good sharing. This was about Blaze’s body, his own physical essence.
    “But I needed all the loneliness and isolation. It helped me go on because it made me strong. I know I hurt you so much, and I want to apologize for that.”
    There was an honest brightness to Blaze’s words. Lumikki still couldn’t reply though because she didn’t have the words.
    Instead, Lumikki told him about everything that had happened over the previous winter and summer: the crimes she had gotten mixed up in, the danger and all the running, how close death had been.
    “I read about the thing in Prague in the newspaper. That was crazy,” Blaze said, shaking his head.
    “I seem to have a habit of getting into dangerous situations,” Lumikki tried to joke, but she couldn’t force a smile.
    Quickly, she tried to cover her anxiety by taking a big gulp of the coffee that was already lukewarm. That always happened to them. They barely noticed as their coffee grew cold, they had so much to say.
    But Lumikki didn’t tell Blaze about remembering that she used to have a sister. And of course, nothing about the harassing letters, even though she wished she could share the burden with someone.
    She couldn’t take the risk that this “shadow” would make good on the bloody images he painted in his messages.
    Lumikki saw how what she was saying affected Blaze. She saw the desire to protect her that sparked in his eyes. She saw how Blaze’s hand inched across the table toward her own, ready to grab it.
    “Oh, and I have a boyfriend,” Lumikki quickly added.
    Blaze pulled his hand back and picked up his coffee cup, feigning nonchalance.
    “That’s great,” he said with a slanted smile.
    Lumikki hurried to tell him about all of Sampsa’s wonderful qualities. Blaze listened calmly. His expression seemed to say that he didn’t consider this boy a particularly important factor in Lumikki’s life. Lumikki was a bit offended. Did Blaze really think he could just waltz back into her life after pulling a stunt like disappearing for a year and that