Around the World in a Bad Mood! Read Online Free PDF Page B

uncomfortable in the cabin until we are given a slot and released. This may affect our ETA, but not our ATA because the flight time has been padded. As soon as we have a clear idea as to our ETD I will make a PA with that information.”
F/A
   Flight attendant
Seniority
   The length of time with the company. The longer you’ve been around, the lower your seniority number is. The lower your seniority number is, the better for bidding.
Bidding
   Choosing where you want to work on the airplane. Usually done in order of seniority.
Turnaround
   A trip that leaves and returns back to base on the same day.
APU
   Auxiliary Power Unit, controls air conditioning and heating.
INOP
   Inoperative—broken!
ATC
   Air traffic control—or God.
Holding pen
   Just that, an area for overflow traffic.
ETA
   Estimated time of arrival.
ATA
   Actual time of arrival.
ETD
   Estimated time of departure.
PA
   Public announcement.
Slinging hash
   Serving the meals.
On call/Reserve
   Being available for a trip assignment twenty-four hours a day on select days. This is how most careers begin. As you gain seniority you’ll get off reserve, and then you will have a set schedule or “line.”
Screamer
   A passenger who has lost his or her cool. Sort of like a “bleeder” in the medical profession.
Steerage
   Coach class.
Cockpit queen
   A flight attendant more interested in the front end of the aircraft than in the chamber of horrors known as the “cabin.”
Crop dusting
   Walking down the aisle while inconspicuously passing gas.
UM
   Unaccompanied minor. A child traveling alone, usually sweet and and charming. Can sometimes be challenging. Definitely challenging when there are ten or more on board, which is often the case during summer or Christmas break.
Debriefing
   Party in someone’s room after a flight.
Pax
   Slang for passengers.
Upgrade
   A passenger who has moved up from economy or business class to first class. Upgrades are recognizable by the way they demand refills on their cocktails every five minutes because they are free.
Load
   Refers to the number of passengers on board, as in, “What is the load today?” When it comes to loads, my favorite phrase is, “We have light loads all day today!”
Widebody
   This usually refers to the 747 aircraft, which is also known as “the Whale.” Often we will use this term to describe a person, as in “Check out the outfit that widebody is wearing!”
3-holer
   This is an aircraft with three engines, such as a 727. For sixteen years I was under the impression that it meant three pilots. Like three assholes in the cockpit. Not that I think pilots are assholes. They are not (most of them anyway).
Blue room
   This is what is known as the lav, the biffy, the john, or the bathroom.
Jumpseat
   And you thought your seat was uncomfortable! This is the seat that flight attendants occupy for takeoff and landing. It’s to be used by crew members only, and it is not a footrest for those passengers seated across from it. Thank you.
Tuff cuff
   Plastic handcuffs for those unruly disruptive passengers. “Disruptive” includes, but is not limited to, carving initials on the window with a penknife, unwanted sexual remarks or advances (this may include the captain), and running down the aisle naked (yes, it has happened, and if you can catch the perpetrator the tuff cuffs do come in handy).
Over the pond
   Flying over the Atlantic or Pacific, as in, “It’s going to be a little rough going over the pond today.”
Slam click
   On a layover, when a flight attendant goes directly to his or her room instead of going out with the crew.