Around the World in a Bad Mood! Read Online Free PDF

enjoyable.
    E XPECT THE UNEXPECTED: You think you are on your way to Chicago, you are flying along when suddenly the captain makes an announcement, “Ladies and gentlemen, there is some rough weather ahead and we are low on fuel. We will have to divert and make a fuel stop in Madison.” Don’t panic! In all likelihood you will get to Chicago, it just might not be the way you planned. The same is true for mapping out your life; although it is good to have a destination in mind and an idea of how and when you like to arrive, you never know what rough weather, unscheduled stops, and diversions you may encounter along the way. As much as we’d like to think we are in control in making our travel plans or our life plans, we usually aren’t really in control at all. Roll with the punches.
    K EEP EMOTIONS AT BAY: This is a good one, especially in this day of air rage, road rage, and people rage. I can’t tell you how often I have wanted to really let some passenger have it! However, if I went around swearing and screaming at people I’d be in a heap of trouble. Instead I have found it best to count to ten and make every effort to refrain from any rude, unkind comments. If a response is required, just smile and give the briefest reply and move on. Sometimes I don’t say anything. I not only practice this on the airplane, but also in my everyday life. People are really shocked by silence, oftentimes the situation will be diffused right then and there. Keep cool and choose your battles wisely. Most of the time they are not worth the fight.
    J UST BECAUSE IT SAYS FIRST CLASS DOESN’T MEAN IT IS: Although the term “first class” may lead one to be­lieve that the food is better, there’ll be more privacy, or the level of service will be higher, that is not always the reality. In fact, sometimes the food in coach is better, and if you can find an empty row in the back of the aircraft it is often far more comfortable than sitting by someone sprawled out next to you in that first-class seat. Also, some of the people sitting in coach class behave in a more first-class manner than some of the people actually sitting in first class. The same is true in life, being in the “first-class crowd,” knowing the “heavy hitters,” or hanging out with the “A-list,” one might experience some of the finer things life has to offer—the gourmet food, the exquisite wine, and the ocean view—but the quality of the people in the “first-class crowd” can often belie the delicacies that may accompany this lifestyle. Sometimes you’re better off with a hot dog and a true-blue friend.
    A LWAYS PACK A BATHING SUIT: I have no idea what this means or why it is important. It is not as if I am going to strip off my blue polyester uniform and change into my swimsuit halfway through the flight. Nonetheless, for the last sixteen years I have been carrying around a little bikini in the bottom of my suitcase. I guess you never know when the opportunity for a little fun and frolic in a nearby pool, ocean, or lake may present itself and you wouldn’t want to miss out because you neglected to pack something as simple as a swimsuit. You should always be ready to have some fun and be spontaneous . . . after all, we never know what is around the corner, it may be a beach!

The Secret Language of Flight Attendants
    H OW DOES A flight attendant say “Fuck you”? “I’ll be right back!” Every industry has its own specific terminology. The airlines are no different. For your convenience, I’ve prepared a short list of terms recognized by those in the airline industry. This will help you to better understand this book, and it will also help you understand airline personnel when they say something like this: “Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention? The APU is INOP on the ground and ATC has put us in the HOLDING PEN, so it may be a bit