Are You In The House Alone? (plus: Love Me) Read Online Free PDF Page A

Conner?? Phoenix, he’s gay.”
    Phoenix rubs the back of his neck.
“… Yeah.”
    He peeks into my eyes. “I know.”

 
 
 
    CHAPTER 16

 
 
    Okay, so Garrett was right. My
boyfriend was gay. (Well, okay, ex -boyfriend.)
(Whimper.) He had apparently been seduced by Marcus Conner.
    What the—???
    It left me feeling shocked and …
extremely unattractive.
    Although April seemed to have a
different outlook on it when I texted her the break-up news.
    After a bunch of shocked emojis she
texted: “Well at least it was Marcus. Marcus is HOT.”
    Yeah, that really didn’t make me
feel better.
    In fact, I felt heartbroken.
    … though not as heartbroken as one
might expect after a break-up … probably due to all of my lusting after Garrett
as of late.
    April brought me over three tubs of
ice-cream to commiserate my stolen two years of total awesomeness. (Okay, I was
feeling kind of bitter.) I mean, come on. Really??? I had painstakingly went to
great lengths to look hot for that guy—for two years!!! Then what does he do?—discovers he’s gay. Hello , hand me the ice-cream!
    April gives me another sympathetic
look. “Kind of a waste of all your hotness—I mean, when it went to a gay
guy.”
    Exactly!!
    But, um … heyyy, that’s what
Garrett had said. Exactly his
words.
    Maybe Garrett was right when he accused me of being
afraid to be loved by an actual straight guy. A guy that could actually love
me. After all, my parent’s divorce had been big time scary. Torturous to
witness. I mean, how could people who were once so in love grow to hate each
other? Okay, my dad’s cheating on my mom had helped that process along. Big
time. But the whole thing—witnessing my mom’s pain—it sure didn’t
make me feel confident about love … and maybe it left me afraid of it.
    Love seems brutal.
    When I tell this to April, she
agrees. “Yeah, it seems to make everyone crazy.”
    Exactly.
    So, who could blame me for being
afraid of it?
    I mean, I wanted it, of course, but my parent’s divorce had made me
afraid to wholeheartedly jump into it (aka: afraid of it) and it sure didn’t
help that mom’s second marriage seemed to be going down the tubes— fast —as well. Maybe that’s why I
stuck with a nice, safe, gay guy.
    I mean, YES I had realized our
love-life was a little lacking. Lukewarm rather than steamy and passionate. But
Phoenix had been super fun and sooo sweet, and he never, ever pressured me. Or
even tried anything. He was …
safe.
    My heart couldn’t get truly broken
by him, because he never really took it. (He just gave it roses and compliments—but
didn’t really , truly want it.)
    The epiphany makes me realize I
need a change. Duh.
    For once I’m just going to give my
heart what it wants.
    Screw being “safe.”
    Yeah, I had been afraid of love.
But now I was going to grab it.
    … after a couple more bowls of
ice-cream.

 
 
 
    CHAPTER 17

 
 
    After a lot of carful deliberation,
I decided maybe I shouldn’t shoot for “love” after all.
    I mean, not so soon after a
break-up. (That’s just not smart.)
    Instead, I decided I’d go for the
next best thing—lust. For once I’d actually give into what my heart
secretly craved—Garrett!!!!
    So, after a lot of moping and
eating of chocolate, I decided to just do it. I would seduce Garrett the exact
same way he seduced me. (Well, not exactly the same.) (Or even close, actually.) But I’d make him pine for me—the
way I’ve been pining for him.
    Oddly, for some crazy reason, I
felt I could do it. I’m not sure why exactly, since he’s such a player. And
that’s what players do, right? They make the girl (aka: their target) feel
special. Like deep down, she is the only girl he really wants. Like he has actual true feelings for her and
her alone. She’s secretly his one and only. His soul-mate. His heart’s desire.
    Garrett had made me feel that way …
for a second.
    I mean he brought me a freakin’
umbrella.
    That says