to her on the blanket.
âIâm sorry,â I said. âIâm really,
really
sorry.â I reached for her heaving shoulders and tried to hold her steady. But she flinched, lashing out at me with her elbow.
âI donât know what you think I was going to say,â she said, her voice weirdly loud. âBut you must have misunderstood.â
âOkay,â I said. Both of us knew I hadnât misunderstood.
âYou donât need to apologize,â she said. âJust a misunderstanding, thatâs all.â
âAre you okay?â I asked.
âOf course, Iâm okay. Why wouldnât I be okay?â She stood up. âIâm not a ⦠Iâd
never..
.â Then, standing over me, she said, âI donât know how anyone could be like that. I donât know how
you
could be like that.â
âYou canât control it!â I said.
âYes, I can. Maybe
you
canât. But I can.â
She turned around and walked away. Or she tried to. Her heels kept sinking into the turf until she reached down and yanked her shoes off. I sat on the blanket and watched her run across the field and away from everything that had just happened.
âW
hatâs this?â Mom asks. She sounds alarmed.
Iâve just gotten back from the Woodvine game and Iâm still in my uniform, plopped down on my bed.
âWhat?â I ask, sitting up.
Unlike my dad, Mom has no problem striding right into my room. â
This
, Addie.â She holds up the crumpled picture of the soccer babe.
âWhereâd you get that?â I ask.
âFrom the pocket of your pants. I was doing laundry. Where did
you
get it?â
Sheâs standing with her feet spread out and her knees slightly bent. Itâs what Coach Berg would call an athletic position. Her feet are planted, but not so much that she couldnât pounce on me if I tried to escape. Neither one of us is going anywhere until I answer her question.
So I do. I tell her everything. What happened at the end of the summer; whatâs been happening ever since. Iâm surprised that I start to tear upâIâm not usually the crying type. Iâm even more surprised that
she
starts tearing up. Momâs a sort of professional activist. She works for the state and deals with people getting harassed (or worse) all the time.
âYouâve got to report this, Addie,â she says.
All along, I knew sheâd say that, of course. Thatâs why I waited so long to tell her.
How could I possibly tattle on someone
, I wondered,
who only a few months ago was my best friend?
âIâll help you if you want, but youââ
âItâs okay,â I interrupt. âIâll do it.â
Because after what Eva pulled at the Woodvine game, tattling suddenly seems a whole lot easier.
E
va didnât start harassing me right away.
For a while, it seemed like she never wanted to be near me again. She didnât call or come over. She definitely didnât speak to me. We had only a couple more summer soccer games, and she skipped both of them. After all the on-field yelling and bantering weâd done, those last games were depressingly quiet. Often, when I looked around the field, I was surprised that Eva wasnât there. It was like my brain couldnât believe that she was gone. Iâd only known her for one summer, but soccer didnât make as much sense without her.
When school started up, the only time we saw each other was in the hallways. Eva would duck her head and pretend she didnât notice me.
At the time, it was really sad. In one afternoon, Iâd lost my best friend, apparently forever. But now, Iâd do just about anything to go back to the way things were in the fall. Loneliness was bad, but I could handle it. If Eva had spent the rest of her life avoiding me, I could have spent the rest of mine as I had before we met.
But then one day she stopped