Archenemy Read Online Free PDF

and heels, for one thing, and there weren’t any places I wanted to be that required this sort of attire.
    â€œI’m just wearing a T-shirt and shorts,” I told her.
    â€œYou look perfect,” she said.
    So much for that excuse. “I’ll go get Belle,” I said.
    â€œLet’s leave the dogs out of it, just this once, okay?”
    Suddenly I really didn’t want to go—not after the way she said that, with her eyes locked on mine. But I did go because I couldn’t think of an excuse not to.
    And it turned out I really was dressed appropriately because our destination was the Fraser High soccer field. At midfield, Eva had laid out a blanket and a picnic basket. She guided me to the blanket, her heels sinking into the turf with each step.
    That’s when it occurred to me that she was wearing the same shoes as the first time we met. The same dress too.
    She sat down on the blanket with her legs folded under her and waited for me to do the same.
    I didn’t.
    â€œDid you bring a ball?” I asked, looking over my shoulder at the parking lot. She’d driven us here in her parents’ minivan.
    â€œNo,” she said. “Sorry.”
    â€œAre you sure? It’s a big car. Maybe there’s one in the trunk or between the seats.”
    â€œI didn’t bring you here to play soccer,” Eva said. She grabbed my hand. “Sit down, okay? I have something I want to tell you.”
    I almost did sit down. Her hand and her words were so gentle, it would have been easy to give into them.
    But I couldn’t.
    Now, looking back, I realize how much courage it took Eva to do all of this. The letter, the picnic, the words she was about to say—all of it was a risk. She’d cluttered her room with soccer studs so she could hide a soccer babe without anyone noticing. But here she was, sitting on a picnic blanket with no studs in sight. There was only me. She wanted to talk to me—and we both knew about what.
    Eva had even chosen to say what she wanted to say
in public
. The more I think about it, the more amazing that is to me. Okay, no one was around, but they could have been. This wasn’t her bedroom. It was a place where a couple dozen people usually performed for crowds of onlookers.
    Which was, as much as anything, the reason I couldn’t—I
wouldn’t
—sit down.
    Because if I did, it felt like the Fraser High soccer field, my favorite place in the world, would be forever changed. It could never again be just a soccer field. And I wasn’t ready to give that up. I wanted Eva to keep being my friend, but more than that, I wanted her to be my teammate. Being anything more than that was too big a risk. It had taken a couple years for the New Hope Church controversy to go away, and I didn’t want to have to deal with any other non-soccer-related issues. This wasn’t about shame or fear. It was about priorities.
    Eva signed her name under the word
Love
. I thought I might even feel the same way. But like my dad always said, “Sometimes you have to choose one love over another.” And that’s what I did. Dad chose a person over athletics, and I’m glad for my sake that was his choice. But I chose soccer over a person, and at the time, it felt like a no-brainer.
    It still does.
    So instead of sitting next to Eva and letting her say what she’d come here to say, I pulled my hand out of hers.
    â€œI’m sorry,” I said. “I don’t feel the way you do. I just want to be teammates. And friends. But … not anything more.”
    Eva didn’t say anything for a long time. In fact, she didn’t do anything at all. She’d been stunned so badly that her body was frozen stiff. When she did move, she collapsed. Her chin fell to her chest. Her shoulders sunk. Her hands dropped into her lap. She started bawling.
    It was terrible to watch. After I don’t know how much time, I finally sat down next