Apples & Oranges (The This & That Series) Read Online Free PDF Page B

cute. In a parolee sort of way.”
    “ Ooooh, an ex con.” Lexie’s eyes lit up. “That’s a good starting point.”
    “Is that all you guys think of me?” My eyes bounced between both of their faces a few times. “That I’m just your slutty friend who is going to hump her way through the garbage men and landscapers in town?”
    They blinked at me. “Um.” Lexie swallowed a mouthful of crème fraiche, a smile ticking the corners of her mouth. “No?”
    I tore some corn silk off of an ear. “That sounded convincing.”
    Candace bumped shoulders with me. “Come on. Let your old, married friends live vicariously through you. It’s not every day we get to seduce men with the use of our prowess, like you.”
    “Just once I’d like to be able to talk Fletcher into bed in Spanish,” Lexie announced, wistfully staring off into space.
    “It doesn’t work.” I smirked at her, despite myself. “I tried, remember?”
    “It sure didn’t.” Candace snorted. “Brian tries to talk dirty to me in Mandarin, but it always sounds like he’s cussing me out.”
    Lexie and I dissolved into giggles.
    “Wait, wait, wait.” I shook my head. “You guys are going off on tangents, and I have a point to all this.”
    “Well, get to it!” Laughed Lexie. “You lost me way back at the Tasmanian devil tattoo.”
    I took a deep breath, then released it slowly. “I don’t like being a snob like my mother.”
    “Good,” they both said in unison.
    “And I don’t like being rejected.” I blew my hair back again. “So maybe I just need to get this Demo character off my chest. You know, scratch an itch and all that.”
    “You mean you do want to go out with him?” Lexie pointed a finger at Candace. “I told you.”
    “Fine.” Candace reached into her pocket, and produced a dollar bill. When she saw me gaping at her, she added, “I just didn’t think you’d admit it.”
    “I’m gonna take it a step farther. I think Mar wants more than just to slum it,” Lexie announced decidedly, pushing her glasses up. “I think she wants domesticity. The house, the husband, the minivan, the two-point-five kids and a golden retriever.”
    “Don’t get carried away,” I interrupted.
    “Can it, Vargas.” Candace nodded at Lexie. My two friends were conspiring against me, as usual. It was like this when they tried to convince me to stop tanning, too. “All this time with baby Ian, and she’s decided that procreation isn’t as vulgar as she originally thought.”
    Lexie snapped her fingers. “So she is going soft.”
    “I never thought this day would come.” Candace waved her hands in front of her face, as if she were trying to avoid tears. “Our girl’s all grown up.”
    My cheeks heated, so I hid behind a veil of my hair. They were right. Or partially right . After watching their husbands hold their chairs for them, and listening to the tinkling sound of their kids laughing when they made goofy faces and offered peanut butter and jelly sandwiches without the crust… I was starting to think I was missing out on something.
    Before Lexie and Fletcher unified their family, I was a serial dater. And until recently I saw no reason to change that. But nowadays I was surrounded by happy couples and happy families, and everywhere I looked everyone was happy, happy, happy. It was sickening. But I kind of wanted it, too.
    And it wasn’t like I was going to find it with Demo-the-mechanic. Oh, no. He was nothing more than what I called him: an itch that needed to be scratched. But secretly, deep down under my coiffed exterior, I longed for someone to curl up with while wearing sweats and eating peanut butter straight out of the jar. I just wasn’t ready to admit it to the world. Or my best friends.
    “You’re looking pretty contemplative, Mar.” Candace stopped what she was doing and watched me closely. “Seriously. Are you thinking about asking Demo out?
    I shrugged. “Maybe.”
    A distraction. That’s what I needed.