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trying not to panic, trying to feel adventurous. It wasn’t entirely working.
    “Hey,” Asher said, his voice warm and low. “Why don’t we go see if there’s a space for you at the hostel where I’m going to stay?”
    “You think there’ll be a bed for me?”
    “Only one way to find out.” And he smiled.
    I don’t know how he did it. He seemed so laid back about everything, while my first reaction was always PANIC. Maybe he wasn’t worried because he was a guy. He could sleep on a park bench and not worry someone was going to rape him. Or maybe he’d already been doing this long enough to know you can always find somewhere to sleep.
    When we got off the train, Asher asked someone for directions and a few minutes later we were walking the streets of Rome.
    ROME.
    I have absolutely no shame in the fact that I gawked like a ridiculous tourist at everything. Along the main roads, right next to these circus-like ten lane streets, people drove crazy-insane. Seriously, trying to cross the road put your life at risk. I don’t think pedestrians have the right of way there the way they do in the States. Which, by the way, was an Excellent Thing to learn right away. Life-saving. I am so not kidding about that.
    The hostel was only a few minutes from the train. We checked in, and luckily they had a bed for me in the dorm. I hadn’t had a shower since two nights ago, so I excused myself to go clean up and change.
    I didn’t know what Asher’s plans were and didn’t want him to feel like I was tagging along, so I wanted to give him an easy out. He could go on his way alone if that’s what he wanted.
    When I came back down to the lobby—feeling fresh and cool in capris, a light green t-shirt, and trekking sandals—my heart sank. It was empty. He was gone. As I stood there alone, I felt stupid for having had my hopes up. It’s not like we really were friends. We’d been traveling companions from Paris to Rome, that’s all. And that was fine. I’d survive.
    I pulled my phone out and turned it on. I needed to send a quick text to my mom, but first I texted my brother. I’d barely messaged him since I’d left and even though he was probably still asleep, I just really wanted to check in.
    ME: Hey. I’m in Rome. (That’s in Italy.)
    JUSTIN: FU. I know where Rome is. Give me some credit.
    ME: Holy shit! You’re awake!
    JUSTIN: I still have school. My last week. Btw, I owe you BIG.
    ME: Why?
    JUSTIN : You so monumentally screwed up that I’m golden for life now.
    ME: And that’s different from before HOW? Dork.
    JUSTIN: Doofus. All the same THANKS.
    ME: Welcome. At least some good should come of this.
    JUSTIN: Heard Paige came back. You okay?
    ME: Yeah. I just couldn’t come back yet. You know?
    JUSTIN: For what it’s worth, I’m glad you didn’t marry plain Blaine. He was too vanilla.
    ME: Me, too. And thanks.
    JUSTIN: You deserve better.
    ME: Aw, you’re giving me all the happy feelz.
    JUSTIN: Shut up. And be safe, k?
    ME: I will. Now you shut up & go to school. Love you.
    I scrolled back through our conversation for a minute, missing my brother in a crazy way. He’d just turned seventeen a couple of months ago. Being so much older, I’d always looked out for him. I still did.
    I sent a quick text to my mother that I’d arrived in Rome COMPLETELY unscathed, neither kidnapped nor killed , then quickly shut off my phone before she could respond. I couldn’t handle her again so soon.
    I looked around the lobby one more time. It was empty except for me.
    I sighed. Well, I’d decided to take this trip alone. And this is what happened when you did that—you were, shockingly, alone. I hitched my backpack up on my shoulders and went out the door. At least I’d meet some people tonight back at the hostel. Maybe I’d find some new friends to hang out with. I wasn’t the greatest at making friends right away, but I’d have to improve if I didn’t want to spend all my time on my own.
    So I went to the Vatican