Angel's Dance Read Online Free PDF Page B

share
those emotions. Men tend to bottle things up and do not feel
comfortable sharing their feelings, especially negative feelings,
with others.”
    Clear shook her head. “It wasn’t the
dad, and like I said before there were no images associated with
it.”
    “ Then how do you know it
wasn’t the dad?” Grant grumbled.
    Clear was still wondering about his
cold-hearted comment and off-handedly replied. “Because I am the
psychic. It was the little girl.”
    Grant scoffed, “No way, she was
asleep… besides little girls aren’t.. I mean they don’t… You looked
like you were ready to murder someone!” he stammered toward the
end.
    “ I felt like it too. But
that is the problem with kids. They haven’t experienced enough in
life and they don’t know how to mediate their feelings. Everything
is black and white at that age. Either they love you or they hate
you.. and it can change in less than five minutes. The only ones
who are worse than toddlers are teenagers, but they have all those
hormones….” Clear trailed off as she realized Grant was guffawing
at her. It made her feel distinctly uncomfortable.
“What?”
    Grant’s mouth slammed shut. “Nothing…
it’s just you talk… like… I don’t know, someone who’s raised a
dozen kids… or a psychiatrist.”
    Clear felt herself blush. She shook
her head, “No, it’s just easy for adults to forget once they grow
up. If everyone could feel what I feel from kids, they would
remember from their own childhood and would be so much more
understanding.” She could feel herself blushing even more and was
grateful that the food came at that moment so she could duck her
head down and pretend to inspect it.
    Clear started shoving food in her face
so that he wouldn’t ask any more questions. At moments it was
easier for her to talk about these aspects of herself, because she
had been doing it for so long now with Anne, but then she would
remember who she was talking to (NOT Anne) and what he had done the
last time she had shared something precious with him. As soon as
she thought about it, she wanted to cry again. She closed her eyes
and took a deep breath through her nose.
    “ Pretty good, huh?” Grant
smiled at her as she opened her eyes.
    She nodded shoving food in
her mouth again. ‘ Whatever, let him think
what he wants .’ She would much rather he
think that was what was in her head than have him really know what
she thought and how she felt. Right now she felt more alone than
she had felt in a long time. She suspected that any of the lonely
looking people in this place were supplanting and heightening those
feelings, but at the core she knew they were also her feelings. She
had underestimated how strong her feelings still were for Grant and
she now realized that she hadn’t gotten closure and she hadn’t had
a support group to vent to and had kept all these emotions bottled
up, or shoved to the side.
    She supposed she could have talked to
Anne about them, but at the same time she didn’t really feel
comfortable talking to Anne about it. What had happened that night
had been one of the most intimate experiences in her life and she
and Anne had only recently re-established their friendship. Because
she hadn’t had the closure, she was still fighting this stupid
feeling.
    She mentally squared her shoulders.
She was not going to fall apart and she was not going to let Grant
know one thing about any of her feelings. Right now she really
needed to focus on Grant’s daughter and helping him find her. She
took a sip of her drink to rinse the food down.
    “ Well, at least this
experience has taught us something,” Clear suddenly announced.
Grant looked at her slightly confused. She shrugged. “At least we
know it still works.” She tapped the side of her head and nodded
out the window to where the car had pulled out who knows how long
before.
    Grant looked out the window then
looked at her. As the light of understanding lit his eyes, he began
to smile.