Andy Stevenson vs. The Lord of the Loins Read Online Free PDF

you were only funny-looking, but I think you're actually pretty witty."
    Ryan's smile wavered, though, big time!
    "So...” Tristan turned to Kim and I next. “...what did you think of the poem?"
    "I thought it was descriptive, but perhaps a bit too much.” I had to somehow warn him that Kim and Ryan weren't aware of what his poem was really about, and that it needed to stay that way. “It contained things I'm not sure people need to know about."
    "I thought it was incredible, vibrant, sensual and utterly climactic!” Kim cooed. “Why shouldn't someone know about it? After all, you have to be who you are or you'll never enjoy what life has to offer."
    I had a sneaky suspicion what it was she was offering.
    "Honey, there are too many secrets in the world."
    "Secrets can be good,” I countered, “because then everybody would know things that only a few people should know anything about anything at all and then you know what happens then ... we know too much.” Ooooookay. That sounded intelligent. “Look at me. I don't know things, and you don't hear me complaining."
    "That's nice, sweetie.” Kim patted my shoulder. “You just sit there and look pretty and puffy."
    Oh, no, she didn't!
    "Well, it's not exactly a secret.” Tristan put his hand on the table and reached over towards mine, which I quickly dodged. “I don't believe in that. Do what feels good, and if it feels good, do it."
    That was a bit of a blanket statement, and I couldn't figure out why Ryan wasn't ripping into him for it. I would have.
    "Absolutely!” Kim agreed with him wholeheartedly. “If I see someone ... something I want, then I get."
    "Exactly.” He looked over towards me. “Which was why I was thinking you might come over tonight, and we can—"
    "Okay.” Kim naturally assumed he was talking to her. After all, she was the only woman at the table, thought he was adorable and was willing to reenact .1/2 Weeks with him in nine-and-a-half minutes.
    "I don't think he was asking you—” I wanted her to butt out of my social life.
    "Honey, you remember when I said you need to just sit there and look pretty and puffy?” Kim cut me off. “Let the adults talk."
    She did not just do that to me again.
    "What time tonight?” I figured it was best to keep the conversation going.
    "Excuse me, Andy.” Kim sounded indignant. “Y'all are not my pimp. Now...” She looked at Tristan and was all sweetness again. “...what time tonight? Meow meow meow."
    "Hmm...” He was incredibly amused by the situation and taking it in stride. “I guess ... anytime, really.” The corners of his mouth lifted into a devilish grin when his eyes met mine again. “Eight?"
    I nodded. I absolutely couldn't believe I was making a date to get to know someone as talented and strikingly handsome as this guy, let alone possibly get to know him physically, too. I'd thought Jordan would be the only one, but apparently not.
    "Then I'm looking forward to it."
    "Me, too.” Kim and I spoke in stereo then glared at each other.
    With that, Tristan stood up, made a waving motion with his hand and left.
    "I want it sooo deep,” I gushed.
    "What?” Ryan stared at me, and I realized I'd actually spoken that out loud.
    "I mean ... he's so deep.” Oh, nice one, Stevenson.
    "And we have so much to learn from him.” Kim finished what would have been my next sentence.
    "Are you kidding me?” Ryan stared at us. “I'm trying to imagine both of you with a brain right now."
    "What do you think his poem was really about?” She ignored him and turned back to me. “We're talking true artistic expression here, so—world politics? The current state of religion? Nature?"
    "Uh...” I was caught. I hated telling a lie, but I didn't feel like truth was the way to go here. Coming out to my friends was definitely on my agenda, only not this way. “I really don't know what he was talking about, but it was, you know, deep."
    "Excuse me.” Ryan was once again riled up. “But just because