An Unattractive Vampire Read Online Free PDF

wanted to kill the beast himself. Came all this way, and you do his job for him. And so neatly, too. Even cut off the head. Not many folk nowadays know about that. They’d just stick a stake in it and leave it for dead. But not you. You did the thing right. Why, I doubt Master Martin himself could have done as well, could you, Master Martin?”
    “Hmm . . .” Martin grunted noncommittally.
    “Don’t mind him, dear. He’s just jealous. Envy is a sin, Master Martin. You shouldn’t let the green-eyed monster have you just because this gray-eyed monster didn’t. And it’s a most fitting end, don’t you think? The monstrous creature done in by a pious woman. Beauty killing the beast. There’s something in that, methinks. A parable perhaps. And, anyway, it’s not like she’s going to take your job. Come now, tell her she’s done well.”
    The old man pushed Anne toward the witchfinder to receive his praises, placing her in that awkward too-close zone, which is good for kissing and little else. Not even Erasmus Martin, as hardened and pious as he was, could ignore the discomfort that came from standing chest to heaving bosom with a woman, her chin tilted up.
    “Yes, well . . . ,” Martin stammered, suddenly very hot as he peered into Anne’s innocent-looking large blue eyes. He stepped to the side, away from the threat of intimate contact, before continuing, “It does appear the creature is destroyed.”
    “You see, my boy, that wasn’t so hard,” chortled Old Moss, who was an expert chortler. “I know it doesn’t seem like much, girl, but that was high praise from the likes of him. Truth be told, not being set on fire is high praise from the likes of him. Now, what say we leave this dreary den and see if there’s any cider left?”
    The old man offered his arm. With a smile, she took it. Jonathan Moss followed behind as they started to leave, wondering why he hadn’t inherited his father’s obvious skill at talking to pretty girls.
    “However . . .”
    The dreaded word worked its magic. Anne and the Mosses spun around, slowly and in unison.
    Martin stretched his arm out over the vampyr’s grave. “Appearances can be deceiving.”
    And with that, he let go of his lantern.
    They say great minds think alike, whoever
they
might be. While this may be true, it usually happens only when those great minds are separated by an equally great distance. Two great minds in the same room are far more likely to argue and bicker about differences than unite in a single idea. This is important to note, because on this occasion, when the witchfinder’s lantern began to fall, Anne Stevens, Erasmus Martin, and Yulric Bile were all united in a single thought:
Damn it to hell!
    In good time, Anne and the Mosses slowly moved forward to witness the aftermath. They found a smoldering but empty grave.
    “Not so dead after all,” said Martin with a certain amount of satisfaction. Only he had been on the precipice. Only he had seen.
    The lantern had shattered, covering the creature quickly in oil and flame. The beast had managed to maintain the illusion until then but, faced with annihilation, had finally broken. It had writhed. It had screamed. It had hit its fail-safe.
    Naturally, Yulric had foreseen this possibility. Erasmus Martin had a reputation for being thorough, after all, and there was nothing quite as thorough as fire. And so the grave Yulric had so carefully constructed was designed to cave in when struck from the bottom, burying him completely and dousing the flames.
    Anne turned from the collapsed hole to find the witchfinder watching her, his eyes aglow with accusation. She had staked the beast to the ground. She had cut off its head. She had lied. He had her. He knew it. She knew it. He knew that she knew it, which made it all the more sweet. He savored his moment of victory.
    It did not last long.
    “Well, it was a bloody good attempt, girl,” said Benjamin Moss, once more coming to her rescue. “You