An Empire Unacquainted With Defeat Read Online Free PDF Page A

comprehend. A part of him said that women were people too, and should respond the same as men, but another part saw them as aliens, mysterious, perhaps even creatures of dread. "If I have done good, I have brought honor to the house."
    He chuckled at his own ineptitude. Iwa Skolovdan just didn't have the necessary range of tonal nuance.
    "You've given me hope for the first time since Shirl . . . ." she blurted. "I mean, I can see where we're getting somewhere now. I can see Toma seeing it.
    "Tain, I never wanted to come to the Zemstvi. I hate it. I hated it before I left home. Maybe I hated it so much I made it impossible for Toma to succeed. I drove Shirl away . . . ."
    "Yes. I could see it. But don't hate yourself for being what you are."
    "His dreams were dying, Tain. And I wouldn't give him anything to replace them. And I have to hate myself for that. But now he's coming alive. He doesn't have to go on being stubborn, just to show me."
    "Don't hate anybody, Rula. It's contagious. You end up hating everything, and everybody hates you."
    "I can't ever like the Zemstvi. But I love Toma. And with you here, like a rock, he's becoming more like the boy I married. He's started to find his courage again. And his hope. That gives me hope. And that's why I wanted to thank you."
    "A rock?"
    "Yes. You're there. You don't criticize, you don't argue, you don't judge, you don't fear. You know. You make things possible . . . . Oh, I don't know how to say what I want. I think the fear is the biggest thing. It doesn't control us anymore."
    "I don't think it's all my fault, Rula. You've done your part." He was growing unsettled. Even embarrassed.
    She touched his arm. "You're strong, Tain. So strong and sure. My brother Mikla . . . . He was sure, but not always strong. He fought with Toma all the time."
    Tain glanced south across the green hills. Toma had gone to the village in hopes of obtaining metal that could be used in the windmill Tain was going to build. He had been gone for hours.
    A tiny silhouette topped a distant rise. Tain sighed in a mixture of disappointment and relief. He was saved having to face the feelings Rula was stirring.
    Toma loved the windmill. He wanted to let the house ride till it was finished. Tain had suggested that they might, with a little ingenuity, provide running water. Rula would like that. It was a luxury only lords and merchant princes enjoyed.
    Rula followed his gaze. Embarrassment overtook her. Tain yielded the jar and watched her flee.
    Soon Toma called, "I got it, Tain! Bryon had an old wagon. He sold me enough to do the whole thing." He rushed to the forge, unburdened himself of a pack filled with rusty iron.
    Tain examined the haul. "Good. More than enough for the bushings. You keep them greased, the windmill will last a lifetime."
    Toma's boyish grin faded.
    "What happened? You were gone a long time."
    "Come on in the house. Share a jar of beer with me."
    Tain put his tools away and followed Toma. Glancing eastward, he saw the white stain of Steban's flock dribbling down a distant slope, heading home. Beyond Steban, a little south, stood the grotesque rock formation the locals called the Toad. The Sharans believed it was the home of a malignant god.
    Toma passed the beer. "The Caydarmen visited Kosku again. He wouldn't give them the animals."
    Tain still didn't understand. He said nothing.
    "They won't stand for it," Rula said. "There'll be trouble."
    Toma shrugged. "There'll always be trouble. Comes of being alive." He pretended a philosophical nonchalance. Tain read the fear he was hiding. "They'll probably come tonight . . . ."
    "You've been drinking," Rula snapped. "You're not going to . . . ."
    "Rula, it's got to stop. Somebody has to show them the limits. We've reached ours. Kosku has taken up the mantle. The rest of us can't . . . ."
    "Tain, talk to him."
    Tain studied them, sensed them. Their fear made the house stink. He said nothing. After meeting her eyes