shouted. I was a Catholic boy with an imagination. I knew I was being invited to a threesome.
âQuiet! Iâll get fired!â I said, without thinking, almost instinctively. Yet I wanted, more than anything on this planet, to jump in and have sex with both of them. So what if I got fired! The summer was almost over, I was off to college soonâ¦But I couldnât. I kept thinking of consequences. Why? To this day I am not sure, but it likely had something to with my belief, honed over years of Catholic education, and hundreds of hours serving Mass on my knees, that something bad always happened if you had too much fun. But I also think it had something to do with my being afraid of themânot literally, like I would come to harm, but afraid of being stuck, like I imagined they were stuck, going nowhere. In my young mind, vaginas equaled quicksand.
âWell, then, come back to our house. Weâve got beer.â
âUhâ¦â
This was all I said. âUh.â I felt like a weenie then; I feel like one now.
I relish the idea of the taboo. Yet I have done much more thinking about it, more observing of it, than doing. Such detachment has allowed me to write about sex without being a sexual radical. This is another reason why I have come here and why I went to the sexology conference. If I just talk to all these people at this big company, I think, I will learn what I need to know. No muss, no fuss.
Sinclair is the shallow end of a swimming pool for those, like me, who are nervous about the deep end. When the first Better Sex videos sold in the 1990s, everyone at the company was pleased but quickly realized there was no âback end,â nothing else to sell. Suddenly, they had a lot of customers and no more product. So they gave them products, three thousand of them. Though the name may sound serious and clinical, and though it advertises to educated elites, Sinclair offers many of the same items as Adam and Eve. But they all come with the Sinclair imprimatur, a brand that comforts the uneasy. Once you buy your educational videos, see the toys used, get used to seeing naked people having sex, you can buy the toys and XXX features like
Exxxstasy Island
and
Wicked Sex Party 7
from Sinclair.
âSinclair videos give customers permission to buy the other items,â Smith says.
âYouâre a gateway drug!â I say, laughing.
âYouâre right,â Montani agrees. âSinclair comes first, then people get softer features, then XXX, and then they are into bondage!â Montani is kidding a little, but not much. âThat is the normal progression for the majority of our customers.â
Often Sinclair customers start out feeling afraid of their own desires or their performance or their bodies. Customers often ask the question I most often get: âAm I normal?â âThat is why our business exists,â Kathy says. âPeople want to know if they are okay. Is it all right? Is there something wrong with this? Am I not doing something right?â In the Sinclair world, the answer is always âYouâre fine. You have permission.â
Sometimes the Sinclair folks are surprised at what they are giving permission for. Ultimately, almost nothing is taboo. Mark Schoen, the PhD sexologist who directs the action on the videos, told me earlier that oral sex techniques were considered edgy when the division first started and that Sinclair told itself it would never make an anal sex how-to.
The Better Sex Guide to Anal Pleasure
was issued in 2005. Then came a âpower playâ video. Now, with Sinclair videos, you can learn how to shave your pubic hair, give erotic massages, use sex toys, have sex in âunusual places,â try out sadomasochism, indulge in âguilty pleasures.â
âMy wife and I bought this video and it opened up a lot of doors,â one satisfied customer wrote. âShe finally let me cum all over her face. Thanx [B]etter
Maddie Taylor, Melody Parks