Alyzon Whitestarr Read Online Free PDF

stream of quiet was trickling into me from him, and the longer I looked, the deeper the pool of quiet became until, eventually, it soothed all the tangled taut nerves and sinews in my body. I was fascinated to find that, whenever I was forced to look up to answer a question and the pressure of my family’s combined attention became intolerable, I had only to look down at Luke to feel soothed and gentled again.
    I ate a bit, but the meal tasted as bland as hospital food because of the drug in my system. I didn’t have that much appetite anyway, and it was awkward to eat holding Luke, but I didn’t want to let him go. I followed Mum’s lead, smiling a lot without saying much, and pretty soon, everyone dropped back into their usual roles. Mum stared dreamily into the candle flames and smiled at me from time to time. Da served and laughed and broke into little bursts of song. Jesse strummed his guitar and talked about some complicated article he’d read in the papers. Serenity chewed her nails and stared out the window. And Mirandah talked about her boyfriend, Ricki, while she sewed the hem on a yellow skirt. She had shifted from purple to yellow while I was unconscious, and her wardrobe was going through an overhaul.
    I sat, happy to be among them, although it seemed to methe whole family had grown louder. And not only them. The radio was turned down, but I kept being distracted by its low babble; then there was the phone ringing, people chewing their food and laughing or grunting, Jesse strumming his guitar.
    Within an hour I started feeling really exhausted, and Da, who must have been watching for it, said I should go to bed. I didn’t argue. Jesse stepped forward to take Luke. I gave him up reluctantly, my hand brushing against Jesse’s. The cut-grass smell instantly became very strong, and I got this stunning jolt of static electricity and the feeling of something enormous and dreadfully cramped seething and churning inside Jesse, wanting to get out.
    When he glanced into my face to say good night, I could tell from his expression that he had felt nothing.
    * * *
    Fifteen minutes later I was in bed, and although I wanted to think about what had just happened with Jesse, I was asleep before my head hit the pillow. I didn’t wake up again until the following afternoon, and everyone was worrying. Over breakfast, which still tasted bland, I told them I was fine. Jesse said I just needed to get used to being awake again.
    I held Luke and stayed up for a little, but soon I felt tired and went back to bed and slept some more. And that’s how it went for a week, the noises and smells growing stronger each day as the sense suppressant wore off.
    Da said I didn’t have to think about going to school until I was ready. The truth was that school seemed like it belongedto another life. I couldn’t imagine ever going there again. I couldn’t imagine having a normal life.
    Then one day, I woke up and saw on the bedside clock that it was only ten in the morning. I hadn’t woken that early since before the accident.
    I just lay there for a while. The bed seemed so soft and warm, and I let myself sink into the feeling. How had I never noticed what a perfectly wonderful bed it was? The way the pillows were exactly the right height and softness, and how beautiful the rich red of the quilt cover was, like sleeping wrapped in a cotton dusk.
    I turned to snuggle deeper, and my eyes fell on Serenity’s side of the room.
    I had never much liked Serenity’s mortuary decor, and since the accident all of the blackness she surrounded herself with seemed almost tangibly heavy, like huge lumps of jellied night. Whenever she was in the bedroom, I heard this sinister whispering—obviously another trick of my haywire senses, but even so, it fit. I shuddered and turned onto my other side, but I could still feel her half of the room behind my back, the white of the death lily glowing in the midst of the blackness like some ghastly fang.
    “Get