Alpha Girl Read Online Free PDF Page B

backstreets. I didn’t mind; I felt safe. Maybe he was lonely, or perhaps he’d just forgotten the way. Regardless, I didn’t direct him.
    ‘Are you married?’ I asked after a long silence.
    ‘No,’ he replied stiffly.
    ‘Have you ever been?’
    He took longer to answer this time. ‘I was engaged once.’
    ‘What happened?’
    His jaw tensed. ‘It’s not important.’
    ‘Did it end after you got sick?’ I asked.
    He ignored me and I dropped the subject after that.
    When we finally pulled up in front of my home, the house was dark once more. He didn’t ask about it this time. Instead, he looked straight ahead, unblinking. We hadn’t spoken for the last ten minutes.
    ‘Thanks for the lift,’ I said, clutching my bag in my lap. I reached for the door handle and let myself out of the car.
    ‘Goodnight,’ he said.
    Once I’d closed the door behind myself I leaned into the window. ‘I work Monday and Wednesday nights,’ I said quickly. ‘If you ever want to talk.’
    Mr. Stone stared at me, his eyes darting across my face.
    I wasn’t sure why I had said that so I turned on my heel and quickly marched away from his car, towards my front door. Mr. Stone had already driven away by the time I’d reached for my keys.
    Next doors car was sitting in our garden, but it hissed and fled at the sight of me. I felt a strange desire to chase it, but repressed the urge and went inside.

Chapter Five

Tuesday – 22 days to go

     
    I had to attend mandatory counseling at school once a month. My teachers seemed to think I was depressed and would do myself harm. I wasn’t sad; I was empty.
    I barely spoke during the sessions with the counselor, Mrs. Harvey. She was a hundred-and-eight year old moth, with enormous spectacles, and smelled of cabbage and cats. However, if I didn’t go a note was sent home to my parents.
    I didn’t see why they forced me; I wasn’t a threat to the other students. Not while I was healthy, anyway. I took days off school when I was … sick.
    I knocked on the counselor’s door on Tuesday evening, hearing shuffling on the other side. A moment later Mrs. Harvey answered the door, squinting at me through her bottle-glass spectacles.
    ‘Ah, Miss Roland, welcome.’
    ‘It’s Goldman,’ I corrected her, stepping inside the office.
    ‘Yes, that’s what I said.’
    I sat down in my usual chair and waited for Mrs. Harvey to take her seat, which took a while, as she didn’t walk very fast.
    ‘So how are you then, Miss Goldman?’ Mrs. Harvey asked, lowering herself slowly into her chair.
    ‘Fine,’ I said.
    ‘How is your school work going?’
    ‘Fine.’
    ‘Excellent. I noticed you had a few days off school the other week. Are you feeling better now?’
    ‘Yes.’
    Mrs. Harvey chewed on the inside of her cheek. ‘Mmmh … I see. How are your parents?’
    I shifted uncomfortably. ‘Fine, I guess.’
    ‘You guess?’
    ‘I don’t know.’
    ‘Why not?’
    I shrugged. ‘They work.’
    ‘You don’t talk to them after work?’ she asked.
    ‘Sometimes,’ I said.
    ‘All right. What about your friends? Boyfriends?’
    I folded my arms across my chest. ‘I don’t have a boyfriend.’
    ‘No one takes your fancy?’ she asked.
    I thought about Mr. Stone and electricity shot through my body, making me jerk. This did not go unnoticed by Mrs. Harvey.
    She smiled, showing her pearly-white dentures. ‘I’ll take that as a yes.’
    ‘You can take it any way you like, Mrs. Harvey.’
    ‘Rose, I know you try to make yourself emotionally unavailable because you are afraid of getting hurt-’
    ‘That’s not right at all,’ I interrupted.
    ‘Isn’t it?’ Mrs. Harvey asked. ‘Then why do you refuse to open yourself up to friendships and relationships?’
    ‘I’m not worried about getting hurt,’ I said. ‘I’m worried about hurting others.’
    Mrs. Harvey peered at me over her spectacles. ‘Do you sometimes imagine yourself hurting others?’
    I sighed exasperatedly. ‘No,