All the Roads That Lead From Home Read Online Free PDF Page A

alone of getting home from the party.
    Eric lines
up his tools, now that he is finished putting my clock radio back together.
    “All
fixed!” he says, with a bounce. This is the true Eric, underneath it all. Proud
as pie about what his amazing little hands can do.
    My mother
taps her pencil on the table. “‘The real McCoy.’ Seven letters.”
    “Genuine,”
I say.
    “One smart
girl, you are.”
    Eric’s up
on his feet, his coveralls twisted. He wants a hug. He doesn’t want them very
often. I hug him. He smells like sour milk and sugar. He hugs me back, and pats
my face. He does that sometimes. He thinks Blobbo’s a riot. Once, he traced it
with a Sharpie. Took me days to scrub it off.
    We pull
apart. My mother’s gone. So’s the crossword puzzle, her pencil, the tea, and
that scent of Chanel. I walk room to room, and even look in the closets, but I
know she’s disappeared for good. Don’t ask me how, I just do.
    The next
morning I’m late getting up. Weird dreams—none about her, about my high school
days. I was picking a place to sit in the cafeteria. The boy I liked had to be
on my good side, which was tricky to arrange because that chair was taken. Then
it became a game of musical chairs, everyone walking around in a circle until
the music stopped, and no matter what, I always got the wrong damn chair. When
I finally did, the boy wouldn’t turn the other way, wouldn’t let me see his whole
face. I felt totally ripped off by that, and I woke up feeling flushed and cold
at the same time.
    Eric
doesn’t want to go to day care, which makes everything a struggle. He sits at
the table, swinging his legs, not eating his cereal. I give up, haul him into
the car, and take him to the day care lady’s house. She stares at me. I don’t
know why. Eric’s in clean clothes, his hair is brushed, I’ve packed his lunch.
I even remember his beloved animal crackers, though she wouldn’t know about
that.
    At work
everyone’s clustered by the sales counter. Janice, the cashier, is saying Ed’s
a sitting duck. She says there have been robberies in the neighborhood, and
they might be the next target, especially after six when Ed takes over from
Janice and he’s all alone. As I draw near three faces turn my way. Conversation
stops. They stare.
    “Whoa,
Sher,” says Derek.
    “Whoa,
yourself.”
    I knew I
shouldn’t have worn this sweater. It’s a little clingy, and Derek being Derek
can’t resist. But what’s Ed’s problem? And Janice’s?
    “What’s
this I hear about robberies?” I ask.
    “It
happens. Goes with the territory,” says Ed. He’s trying not to look at me.
    “I say
protect the territory,” says Derek.
    “We’ve got
an alarm system,” says Ed.
    “That’s
for the store. Doesn’t protect you ,” says Janice.
    Ed reaches
below the counter. He’s got a baseball bat down there! Derek steps back. Janice
laughs.
    “How long
have you had that?” Derek asks.
    “Since
this morning. I listen to the news, too, you know.” Ed chokes up his hands and
cocks his hips. “Come on, buddy. What you see is what you get!”
    We all
laugh. But then they turn to me again, so I make for my office. I sit. On my
desk is another stack of invoices. I have to make sure they all add up. So,
that’s what I do, number by number.
    On break I
hit the Ladies Room, which is just the common bathroom for all of us, and
Janice’s job to keep clean which she does for shit, and there I am, in the tiny
mirror over the sink, totally makeup-free. Crap! How the hell did I manage
that? No wonder everyone’s freaking out! Blobbo’s having itself a field day!
For a moment I think I’m going to puke. Slowly my stomach settles. My face is
burning. I tap cold water on my temples. I could bail out, rush home, and
return intact, but what’s the point? My makeup only does so much. Blobbo’s
still visible, a faint shadow, no matter what. Who have I been kidding?
    “You okay
in there?” Janice calls through the door.
    “Be